When Is It Time To Have The “DTR” Talk?

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When Is It Time To Have The "DTR" Talk?

Having the DTR(Define The Relationship) talk should happen when you feel like it should.

You shouldn’t put a stringent timeline on it because every relationship develops differently.

There are some relationships that take time to develop and others that develop quite rapidly.

The important thing to remember is to ensure that you know why you want to have this talk.

It shouldn’t be because you are desperate or are afraid of something jeopardizing your relationship.

It should be because you have reached a point where you feel like the relationship has reached a level of cohesion whereby a “DTR” talk feels like the next logical step.

Now, there are certain people who believe that having the “DTR” talk may be too forward or desperate.

This really shouldn’t be the issue.

The “DTR” talk is sometimes necessary when you feel like the relationship may have reached that point and you simply want to know where you stand.

It is dangerous to think that just because you feel a certain way, the other person that you are seeing also feels the same.

This is a big mistake that people make.

As a result, they delay the “DTR” talk for way too long believing that they are on the same emotional level as the person they are dating when in fact they aren’t.

What they end up with is a person that never felt the same way for them that they did.

It becomes an entire waste of their time.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop here.

Due to the fact that they spent all this time with this person, they have now developed deep emotional feelings for them.

It becomes a lot harder to let this person go once they have found out that the person doesn’t feel the same way about them.

Hence, they hang on to the person hoping that at some point the person will change their mind which rarely happens.

You shouldn’t fall into this trap.

You should “Define The Relationship” when you have reached the point that you feel the relationship has matured enough.

The longer you wait, the longer you risk the possibility that you will be dealing with someone who doesn’t feel the same way and you will become way too emotionally invested by that point.

You should also understand the value in allowing the relationship to develop in a natural way.

Those who dive too quickly into having the “DTR” talk often regret it when they realize that they never really allowed themselves the opportunity to get to know this person. Getting to know a person takes time.

Your best option is always going to be time.

Like I mentioned earlier, there are some relationships that have the “DTR” talk quite early and others that don’t.

The best time frame to be in is somewhere in the middle.

You don’t do it too early but at the same time you don’t wait too long.

Doing it too early leaves you vulnerable to the possibility of being with someone you barely know.

Waiting too long may lead to one person having more feelings than the other which would lead to an imbalance in the relationship.


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