How To Cope With Jealousy

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How To Cope With Jealousy

The reason why we as human beings get jealous in the first place is because we want something that we seemingly can’t or don’t have.

We may crave more attention, love, happiness, acknowledgment, etc.

This is a strong aspect of human nature.

However, when we realize that we can give ourselves all the attention, love, happiness and acknowledgment we could possible need without needing someone else to do that for us, we stop being jealous.

The emotion of jealousy can be very powerful.

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When you are being jealous, you are doing so from a mentality that is telling you that you lack something.

The problem with thinking in this way is that it can totally overwhelm your life.

You essentially start making this jealousy the focal point of your life.

You will start lacking the motivation to do anything significant with your life because you are so caught up in your jealous emotions.

Study what part of your life you may believe to be lacking.

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As I mentioned earlier, if where you believe to be lacking is in love, attention, happiness or acknowledgment, you will need to start working on giving these to yourself.

When you learn to give these to yourself without depending on someone else to give it to you, you set yourself free from the bonds of jealousy.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines jealousy as, “An unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has.”

Again, you need to determine what it is exactly that you want that you believe you don’t have.

Understand that whatever it is, you can get it for yourself independently if you start applying yourself daily.

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If you are desiring someone that you don’t have, it is that actual feeling of desire that is fomenting your jealousy and not the actual person of desire.

It is the emotion that you are feeling that is causing it.

Hence, you have to figure out what that emotion is and start satisfying it through other means.

If it is an emotion borne out of the lack of love you feel that you have in your life and you think this person of desire can give it to you, find something that you love doing and begin to do it wholeheartedly.

It could be a new passion that you have just discovered that you have or that you have always had.

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Start engaging in this passion and you will find that the love in your life that you believe to be lacking is most definitely there now.

Whether it is a passion for sport, dance, travel etc, that love is there now because you are beginning to make that passion real in your life by taking action.

You can even start making new friends and allow yourself to start having new experiences with these people.

It would be like you are going on a new adventure in life that will take you to places unknown.

As you fill your life with these new people and new adventures, you are simultaneously filling your life with love.

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It may not be the love of an intimate partner but it is love nonetheless and it can affect your entire being in a very positive way.

You will not feel like you lack love anymore in your life because you have filled your life with passion and new people.

This all comes from a place of love and consequently permeates love into everything you do and the way you think in your daily life.

When you start empowering yourself to start giving yourself what you tend to be jealous about on an emotional level, whether it be love, attention, happiness or acknowledgment, you will stop being jealous of individuals.

You wouldn’t need to anymore because you would be meeting your own emotional needs through independent action.

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This makes you cope with not only jealousy but also makes you a more well-rounded individual.

010By Luke Iwuji, a dating coach and founder of DatingLogic.net. For the best professional dating or relationship advice, Book a Session with me.