Many people get hurt in relationships. It is not something that is uniquely your experience.
Getting hurt is part of the risk we take when we get into relationships. This kind of hurt is somewhat inevitable for many of us.
However, your focus shouldn’t be on why you always get hurt as this will only cause you to enter every future relationship with this kind of fear.
This kind of fear will keep you from fully trusting your partner and that’s a big problem.
When you trust your partner, they will be more inclined to trust you.
If your partner gets the sense from you that you don’t trust them, it can make them very uncomfortable.
Your partner may begin to doubt their function and role in the relationship.
They may feel like the relationship has no foundation and they are on shaky ground.
This kind of fear and anxiety alone could lead your partner to either end the relationship prematurely or cheat.
You shouldn’t allow yourself to keep getting into situations like this.
The more obsessed you are with the fear of being hurt, the more you increase the likelihood that you will indeed get hurt.
Remember that humans are very emotional and perceptive beings.
Your partner can sense your unease.
When you are not at ease about them, they will not be at ease about you and the relationship.
It can be difficult to just let go and trust in the relationship.
However, this is part of the risk we take when we get into relationships.
We have to allow ourselves the opportunity to fall in love with someone and trust them wholeheartedly.
Think about the way you feel about a close family member.
You love and trust that family member with all your heart.
You will give them the benefit of the doubt simply because of the connection you have with them as family and as individuals.
Does this mean that said family member can’t ultimately hurt you in some way?
Sure they can.
However, you do understand that there is something real and raw about what you feel for them.
You realize that out of most of the people in this world that you interact with, you have the best chance of having this family member come through for you in difficult times.
Try to put this kind of trust in someone that you are seeing.
Yes, it makes you vulnerable but you have to take that chance.
Ensure that before you get into anything serious with this person, you have taken the time to get to know them.
Ensure that you have been around their family and friends.
Ensure that you have had discussions about a varied number of topics with them so as to get a better sense of how they think.
Ensure that you have been on a good number of dates and experiences with them.
All these help in determining if this is ultimately a person you should put all of your trust in.
You would tremendously help yourself in this process by being patient with whoever it is you are dating.
If you want to reduce the likelihood of getting hurt as much as possible, avoid getting into a relationship too quickly.
Once you have really taken out the time to get to know this person better and you feel like this person is right for you, trust in that.
Don’t allow your fear of being hurt to make them doubtful.
As I described earlier, if your partner gets the sense that you fear being hurt, they may question their value to you and ultimately hurt you.