Am I Being Too Picky?

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Am I Being Too Picky?

You probably are.

In all honesty, when a thought like this comes into your head, it typically signifies that you are being picky.

Now, it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is anything wrong with being picky as it does have its benefits.

However, if you are constantly finding yourself at the tail end of failed dates or relationships, this may be the problem.

This typically means that you may have taken this too far.

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In essence, you may be jettisoning perfectly good relationships.

It is natural to want a particular type of person to date.

A lot of people have a picture of the type of person that they would want to date in their heads.

You have a right to want what you want and there is nothing wrong with that. However, if this has become an impediment to your dating life, you may want to start rethinking this.

Perhaps you should take a few things off that picky check list and just allow your date to be.

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There are so many facets to a person.

Just because they don’t meet a requirement that you have doesn’t mean that you can’t discover something new that may appeal to you.

You may even be surprised at what you discover.

It may make you see dating in general in a totally different way.

Sometimes, when we get so constricted by what we want to have in a mate, we are blinded to other parts of that date that may actually be interesting and enlightening.

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You may learn something about life from them that you had never thought about.

When being picky has reached a point where your relationships are ending very quickly or your consequent dates with someone are very few before you lose patience with them, you may want to adjust your mode of thinking.

The truth is that there is no perfect human being.

Even if you were to meet the person that met every requirement that you have in a mate, you would still discover something imperfect about them as time goes on.

This is inevitable.

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What will you do then?

Leave them?

If you were to continue doing that, you would enter an endless cycle of failed relationships.

This is why there are some people who seem to go through partners like they are toilet paper.

They keep projecting what they want outward instead of looking within.

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When a person starts having a history of these kinds of relationships, it is often because the problem is with them and not with their partners.

If you are feeling or thinking that you are being picky, it may truly be because you are.

Again, there is nothing wrong with knowing what you want and wanting it. However, do understand that there is only so much a person can give you.

At some point, you will have to reflect on yourself and what you may be doing.

Are you perfect?

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You may think you are but seriously, are you?

Are there days that you have woken up just feeling lousy and depressed?

Are there days that you have lost your temper when you shouldn’t have?

Are there moments when you have made professional decisions that may have put you on a path that you never wanted to go to in the first place?

If you are being honest, you may answer yes to at least one of the questions above.

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If you are not a perfect being, why would you expect your mate to be?

Again, as I mentioned earlier, there is nothing wrong with knowing exactly what you want in a partner.

When it becomes a problem is when there is a history of failure.

When you look at your history and notice that there have been opportunities lost due to how picky you are, this is when it becomes a problem and you have taken things too far.

010By Luke Iwuji, a dating coach and founder of DatingLogic.net. For the best professional dating or relationship advice, Book a Session with me.