When you feel like you want to be exclusive in this relationship, it’s time to have the exclusive talk.
It comes down to how you feel and how far you have come.
Many people erroneously think that in not bringing up the exclusive talk, they are not showing pushiness or desperation.
They worry that bringing up a talk about exclusivity runs the risk of pushing their partner away.
In keeping your feelings hidden and hoping for the best, you are sending the wrong message to the other person.
The other person senses that your tacit demeanor points to indifference.
Consequently, they choose not to invest that much emotional real estate in the relationship, as they don’t want to get hurt .
They get the sense that you see the relationship as somewhat casual and decide to not expend too much emotion in the relationship so that they don’t wind up with a broken heart.
On the flip side, don’t have the exclusive talk after only a handful of dates.
Yes, you are excited about this person and believe that they are the “one,” but in reality, having the exclusive talk after a handful of dates appears desperate.
This turns off the person you are dating and makes them feel like you are desperate for attention or love.
It is detrimental to the relationship itself.
An agreement to enter an exclusive relationship after only a handful of dates sends you into the unknown.
You have entered the unknown because you’ve just gotten into an exclusive relationship with someone that you barely know.
I get that you have 3 hour conversations on the phone with each other.
I understand that this person has introduced you to their friends already.
Regardless, this doesn’t mean that you authentically know this person.
You haven’t seen this person at their worst or vice versa.
These are the times when this person is cranky, upset, depressed, selfish, etc.
As human beings we have our moments.
We have moments where we behave or react to stimuli in a manner that we eventually regret.
You haven’t been privy to these moments yet.
There is a lot to know and learn about this person and what you have with each other.
Spend a good amount of time becoming more acquainted with this person before having that exclusive talk.
To expedite this a little quicker, it is a good idea to go out on frequent dates(1-2 a week), for at least 3 months or more.
When your dates are erratic, it is that much harder and takes that much longer for you two to arrive at a venue where having the exclusive talk makes sense.
Taking these measures protects you.
These measures give you an upper hand so that when you do have the exclusive talk, it is after you become more acquainted with this person and vice versa.
This improves the likelihood that your relationship leads to one of exclusivity.