When you feel like you want to be exclusive in this relationship, you have the exclusive talk.
Hence, it really depends on how you feel and how far you have come.
Many people make the mistake of thinking that they shouldn’t bring it up because it would feel like they are being pushy or even desperate.
They may also be afraid that if they were to bring it up, they would upset the other person and possibly push them away.
This shouldn’t be your approach.
If you were to simply keep your feelings hidden and hope for the best, you may be sending the wrong message to the other person.
The other person that you are dating may feel like you are somewhat indifferent to the relationship.
As a result, they may choose not to invest that much emotional real estate in the relationship.
They may do this because they simply don’t want to get hurt.
They get that sense that you see the relationship as somewhat casual and they decide that they shouldn’t expend too much emotion in the relationship so that they don’t wind up with a broken heart.
It is important to be honest about your true feelings when you are dating someone.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you are having the exclusive talk after only a handful of dates.
You should never use this approach.
Yes, you may be very excited about this person and even believe that they are the “one” but in all honesty, having the exclusive talk only after a handful of dates can appear desperate.
This could actually turn off the person you are dating and make them feel like you are desperate for attention or love.
It is also detrimental to the relationship itself.
If you were to have the exclusive talk after only a handful of dates and the other person was to agree, you have essentially entered the unknown.
You have entered the unknown because you’ve just gotten into an exclusive relationship with someone that you barely know.
I understand that the both of you tend to have 3 hour conversations on the phone.
I understand that this person may have even introduced you to their friends already.
However, this doesn’t mean that you truly know this person.
You haven’t seen this person at their worst nor have you given yourself the opportunity to see how they would react when they see you at your worst.
These are the times when this person may be cranky, upset, depressed, selfish, etc.
As human beings we all have our moments.
We all have moments when we have done things or reacted in a way that we may or may not have ultimately regretted.
You haven’t been privy to these moments yet.
Hence, there is still a lot to know and learn about this person and the kind of interaction the both of you will have.
Your best option is to ensure that you have allowed a good amount of time to get to know this person before you have that exclusive talk.
To expedite this a little quicker, it would be a good idea to go out on frequent dates(1-2 a week) for at least 3 months or more.
If your dates are very erratic, it will be that much harder and take that much longer for the both of you to get to know each other to the point where it would be wise to bring up the exclusive talk after a handful of months.
Taking these measures will truly protect you.
These measures ensure that when you do have the exclusive talk, it would only be after you have allowed yourself to really get to know this person and allowed them to really get to know you.
This approach gives the relationship the best chance of lasting a long time and being very fulfilling for the both of you.
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