Loving Two People At The Same Time?

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Loving Two People At The Same Time?

You really need to make a choice between the two or none.

Having them both in your life in an honest way can only work if both of them are willing.

This can be very tricky.

In most real life examples, both people wouldn’t be willing.

Hence, you either have to make a choice between both of them or none of them.

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Your task is to actually figure out what kind of relationship you are looking for.

Do you want something that is long-term or something short-term?

If you want a relationship that is short-term, you are better off picking the person that you tend to have the most superficial banter with.

It should be the one that you tend not to talk to in detailed measures.

In other words, your conversations with this one are usually very lighthearted in nature and rarely go into deeper and more personal details.

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This one could actually be the one that you tend to flirt with the most.

Whenever the both of you are together, it is usually all about fluff and making fun of each other in a lighthearted and flirty way.

Perhaps, you may have even hooked up with this person in the past but the both of you rarely go on official dates.

This is the person that you may also not talk that much about with your friends, family or acquaintances.

Yes, from time to time, you may mention this person to them but for the most part, you keep your relationship with this person relatively private.

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The person I have just described would be the perfect candidate for a short-term relationship.

This is someone that you are not as emotionally invested in, though you may love them.

If you are looking for a long-term relationship, you should choose the guy that you have the best and most intimate conversations with.

It should be the one that you tend to open up to more.

It should be the one that you could talk to on the phone for hours and not even realize how much time has gone by.

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In a long-term relationship, you would want someone that you can truly communicate with on multiple levels, not just flirting.

Good communication is one of the most important facets of a healthy and long-lasting relationship.

Hence, do assess how you communicate with these two people that you love.

Figure out the one that makes you feel like you can truly be yourself around them.

This is the one that you feel like you can open yourself up to without the fear of being judged.

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This is the one who listens and always remembers your discussions no matter how intimate.

This is the one that you can see yourself introducing to the people that matter to you in your life and not feel like something was inauthentic or untrue.

This is in essence the one that you feel the most true chemistry with.

The chemistry that persists and isn’t simply based on infatuation or flirtation.

Now, if you truly feel like you simply can’t make a decision because you simply don’t want to let neither one go, you may want to entertain the idea of letting them both know that you are dating them. If one of them drops out as a result, they have made the decision for you.

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That’s one option.

The other is to drop them both as people of romantic interest and simply be their friend.

This may be a tougher option to undertake.

This may be the most difficult angle to take because of your emotional investment in both of them, but the longer you allow yourself to stay in this situation, the more stressful it will become for you and them.

As a result, both relationships would suffer anyway.

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When both relationships suffer, you may ultimately end up with no relationship.

This is most likely not where you want to end up, particularly when you feel that you can have a future with either one of these people.

010By Luke Iwuji, a dating coach and founder of DatingLogic.net. For the best professional dating or relationship advice, Book a Session with me.