You should make a diligent effort to give him his space for now.
If your boyfriend of 4 years is upset with you, it’s for a reason. However, he isn’t willing to provide that reason at this moment.
Give him some room to cool off. Even when it feels like there needs to be something done just to cool him off and fix the problem, try not to fall for that temptation.
A big mistake that girls make in situations like this is that they push too hard.
They want to know what is going on and as a result they keep texting or trying to communicate.
This is not the time to do that.
If you were to be constantly texting him or trying to communicate, you more than likely would make him even more upset.
He is upset at the moment.
Guys simply need a way to get things off their chest when they get angry.
Some of them will do this through exercising or having a drink with their buddies.
They may even go and buy something to work on like an old truck.
These are some of the ways that a guy may try to blow off some steam and just cool off from an argument or a disagreement that they had with a partner.
Your task is to simply let him do what he has to do at this time.
He will know how to cool off.
If you were to continue pestering him with calls, texts or even apologies, you would not give him the time he needs to recuperate.
All you would be doing is reminding him of the fact that he is upset.
This in turn makes him even more upset.
I know that the temptation to figure out what is going on is very strong.
You just want to get to the bottom of this.
You don’t like the fact that he is upset and not communicating.
You don’t like the feeling of being excommunicated to an extent.
These are all normal emotions and are understandable.
However, this is a time for you to exercise restraint.
You will actually achieve better results if you stayed silent and let him be at this time.
Just go out there and do your own thing for a while.
Try to put the fact that your boyfriend is upset to the back of your mind.
Hang out with your friends and engage in activities.
Avoid talking about your boyfriend and the current state of your relationship with them.
This will only make you think about him even more and want to contact him.
Get busy working on a new hobby.
It could be anything that you have a passion for or you are curious about.
Go on a quick weekend trip to a lodge and have some fun with friends, family or acquaintances.
Stop putting off reading that book and start reading it today.
This kind of approach helps you focus on other things besides your boyfriend and this is important.
While you do this, your boyfriend is working out his own issues in his mind.
He is essentially calming himself down.
At some point, he will contact you.
When he does, you should be calm.
Don’t bring up the incident that led to him being upset.
In fact, you should say very little.
Let him do the talking.
I’m going to say this again.
Let him do the talking.
It can be easy to take over a conversation when you have been missing someone or you want to understand what has been happening.
You may not even be aware of it but your emotions simply get the better of you and you make the mistake of not allowing your partner to freely express themselves.
Just give him the opportunity to do this by letting him talk.
From this point, the both of you will have a better picture of what the problem was and you may be able to come up with ways to fix it.