Yes, but there is a limit.
Most girls are used to guys talking or paying attention to them.
When a guy isn’t doing this and is seemingly ignoring her, she is curious.
She wonders why he isn’t like the other guys and this makes her curious.
All of a sudden, she is looking at him to catch his attention.
The more she fails, the more questions she has about him.
Now, he is in her head.
Once he is in her head, she craves his attention.
She thinks about him when he is not around.
She asks her friends about whether they are familiar with him and what he is about.
He is a mystery.
Something mysterious is intoxicating.
It makes a person want to know more, to uncover what is behind the mystery.
Who is behind this mysterious persona?
These are elements of thought that preoccupy her mind.
She thinks about the guy when she is performing her mundane activities.
When she goes to school, she thinks about him.
While she is working, she thinks about him.
When she is hanging out with her girlfriends at the local pub, she thinks about him.
While she is exercising, she thinks about him.
She is contemplating when next she sees him and how he reacts to her.
Does he continue to ignore her or look in her vicinity, acknowledging her?
Finally, a smile?
All this thinking makes her a little nervous.
She questions her beauty.
Isn’t she attractive enough for him?
All the other guys give her the attention she deserves, why doesn’t he?
Now, her nerves are really getting worked up.
Now that she is questioning her attractiveness, she is questioning her sense of self-esteem.
For the first time ever, she is doubtful about her looks.
Is there something that she has been missing her whole life?
Why has she perennially felt like she was attractive, and yet, there is this one guy who isn’t giving her that impression?
The next time she is around him, she is nervous.
She prepares for it.
She probably wore her favorite and sexiest outfit, and put on a little extra makeup.
Her intention is to present her best self to this mysterious guy who ignores her.
She has a whole bunch of nerves now, not knowing what to expect.
Does he finally acknowledge her and give her the recognition she deserves?
She doesn’t want to believe it, but she is seriously nervous right now.
She hopes that he looks at her and gives her a smile.
This is what happens when a guy ignores a girl.
These are the psychological hurdles she goes through in her mind.
She finds herself thinking a lot more about the guy.
She wants to impress him for the attention that she is so used to receiving from other guys.
She questions her own physical beauty or attractiveness.
All of this puts the guy who is ignoring her in a power position.
Many guys use this method to get a girl interested in them and it works.
Notwithstanding, there is such a thing as too much neglect.
A girl is only going to be curious about you for so long.
Eventually, she loses interest when you are still ignoring her and she has been attempting and failing to get your attention.
In choosing to use this method to get a girl to like you, practice moderation.
Otherwise, she slips right through your fingers.
Hi, thank you for all your great work! Really helps me, but I’m also hoping to gain personal advice. I’ve known this guy for 4 years, met in university. In the first two years, he was obviously very nervous and shy around me, I often had to initiate conversations but while talking he was very cold and distant. To other girls he could easily walk up and talk to. I’m also shy myself so I believed it means he secretly likes me. There weren’t much chances for us to see each other often so things were going very slow. In the 3rd year, one day he suddenly asked for my mobile number, then started texting me to hang after class. We had more chances to meet but he was still acting very cold. I tried my best to respond or flirt, sometimes I would text him first to hang out. But he almost never asks me questions about my personal life or interests, always shows me a “I don’t care” attitude and make it sound like I’m nothing to him. Recently he talked more openly and doesn’t seem nervous anymore. I just tried to ask his view on relationships, he said relationships are nothing to him now. He then suddenly says very harshly that we are just acquaintances (I’m not even a friend to him?), then after I asked him something he again very harshly said his relationship definitely won’t be with me. I felt extremely hurt. Later that evening, he texted me apologizing that he went overboard (but perhaps it was for something else we debated about). Made me more confused. Another time he admitted he lied to me because he was trying to piss me off. Why? Is it because he doesn’t like me anymore? I’m trying to become closer with him but he always pushes me away with harsh words. I’m scared if I admit my feelings he will just reject harshly. What should I do to open him up? Thank you!
Hi Melody,
He may have been trying to piss you off because he wanted to see if he could do it and get away with it. This is one of the methods some guys use to gauge just how interested a girl is in them. It allows them to know how far they can take the game.
There is a good chance he actually likes you. A guy would often act this way with a girl when he likes her but is trying to gain the upper-hand in the relationship.
To open him up, see if you mirror any of his interests. If there are some interests that he has that you do as well, try talking about those interests with him as much as you can. This may start creating a connection with him. If he starts feeling like he can truly relate to you, he may start becoming less harsh.
I feel like this is what the guy at my church is doing. Although there was a confusion between us that ended our communication in the past (2012), he still acts like he has a feeling for me until now. Many times I was told to ignore it because some said that I just imagined things and/or if he’s interested, he would already make a move by now. Therefore, I just ignored and pretty much showed no attention. However, his actions have not changed and recently he acted it out that he was mad, so I had to care and question more. We only see each other at church, where I often notice his behaviors. He’s one of the altar servers, but he’s the only guy who stands up with mood swing. Recently, I’ve noticed more that he seems to pay attention at how I act at church. Last Sunday at first was cold and he just had an angry look and I was at fault. However, when I was having a thinking face (he just made me confuse of whether he’s interested in me or not) and got distracted, he was smiling. I was confused and ignored him (because he seemed to avoid or hid away when I was looking at him a week before), but last Sunday when I ignored, I got the feeling that he still looked at me. The weird part is that when I want to look at him, he acts as I just imagine thing (he hides away or basically act like nothing).
I mean if he’s not interested, he does not need to care much of how I act. Maybe he cares once because of curiosity, but his behaviors make me think otherwise. I don’t know how to act when he acts as avoiding or hiding away when I look at him. I am shy and not so sure whether he likes me, but just shy or why he cares behave such a way. I’ve seen his altar friends and they behave normally and most are younger than us. They showed no care of what is happening. Do you think he actually likes me? How should I act if he sometimes acts as avoids or hides away? I do have feeling for him, but with how he acts, I’m just confused…
Hi Bunnie,
He may like you but is really shy. You should act like you are interested. If he looks your way, make sure you smile at him. He may ignore this at first but if you keep smiling, he may smile back eventually. If he smiles back at some point, you have made some progress.
I know that you are shy but you should also consider starting a conversation with him. Yes, just go up to him one day at church and ask him about what he thought about the sermon or whether he likes being an altar server. If he likes you, he will respond well.
From here, he may be the one to start the next conversation that the both of you have. At that point, it may only be a matter of time before he asks you out on a date.
Thanks for your advices!
He’s having odd behaviors and like wanting my attention for about 4 years since 2010 ( when we just met) and until now. Back then, I was not ready and most people said I just imagined things, that’s why I ignored. From the last time and today when he’s back, still acts as if he’s mad at me and of course still hid away although we looked at each other once (both of us just looked without a smile). He’s done this sometimes before and still got back with odd behaviors. I got so mad at his immature behaviors, so I hid away from him and all especially today.
I am just confused and don’t know what to do whenever he acts like that although I still try to show my feelings toward him. If he acts like that, what would it mean?
Hi Bunnie,
It may mean that he still likes you but is not quite sure of how to express it. He may not want to appear vulnerable and so he tends to act like he is mad at you. Try starting a conversation with him the next time you see him and see how he responds.
Hi,
For a a few months now i had a classmate who use to stare at me a lot and and I too have a crush on him. Because my nerves got in the way I could never establish eye contacts with him and the few time we did i looked away quickly. After the last time this happened and I walked passed him outside without acknowledging him (he was not looking in my direction as I walked because he was occupied, but i am pretty sure he recognized me once he I was past him).
After that i got the sense that he was ignoring me in class. He would not look at me during a group conversation and turned his back to me and pretty much immediately after. And he briefly glanced at me as he joined the group and I could see him actively avoiding looking in my direction. I get the feeling he has given up, just as I was starding to take steps towards engaging him. This urn of event is less than 2 weeks old. Is he not into me anymore? Whats there left to do?
Thanks
Hi CC,
He may have given up because you kept looking away whenever he was trying to establish eye contact with you in the past. He may still be into you. You should try to start a conversation with him the next time you see him.
I need help admin there is a girl in ma class at collge so i started to speaking to her then we are cool but once she mentioned that she has a close friends which she hangs out usually with thim so i ask her to introduce me to them she refused with an exacuse of u cant understand our hardcore english and then i stopped talking for her then and i ignored her completely but then ive tried to meet her then she said u dont have to meet me then when i asked why she said people might think we are together and i dont want that to happen so i was like fuck that and i ugnored her at all and never spoke to her again so after around a month she asked me if i can join her in bus going to uni so i said its my chance to make every thing right and this situation stil for around 2 monthes and we keep having eye contact in the bus alooot but one day later i tried to talk to her when we were going out of the class then she jus looked at me and she lefts me to spoke to mas self so i said thats enough and i agnored her for around 2 weeks then she remembered ma Birthday and wish me a happy one but i kept my ignoring then when i broke my hand she asked me what happend and she said hope u r fine now and take care and such things and i really really want this girl cuz i like her sooo much Help me plz admin thanks.
Hi Bodi,
You should honestly just ask her out directly. Let her give you a direct answer.
If she is interested, you can go on a date.
If she tells you anything other than a yes, she is not truly interested in you and you should move on.
There’s this guy, who I use to work with, until he left to go work at another job. I’ve had a crush on him for a while. I often would strike up conversations with him, to try and get to know him more and get closer to him, so that maybe I could hang out with him outside of work. I’d come up with ways I could get his number, but was always to shy to ever ask him until several months later on his last day at work. I decided to offer him my number, but instead he offered his number. I felt strange about him not taking my number when I offered it, I even thought that maybe he gave me his number, so that I could be the one to take the first step, because maybe he’s not interested in pursuing me.
I texted him a few days later after receiving his number, letting him know who it was. He responded within minutes, and so we texted back and forth for a bit, until he stopped responding. I figured he didn’t know how to respond to the text I had sent him, so I decided to text him again a few days later, asking him a question. He didn’t responded to that either. It has been two weeks since.
Could he be ignoring me to show that he’s not interested, or ignoring me to get me curious as to why I haven’t heard from him.
Hi Jill,
He may be ignoring you to show that he’s not interested.
This is the second time that he hasn’t responded to a text you sent him.
This normally means that the interest level is either not there or very weak.
When a guy really likes a girl, he will not only respond to her texts but he will initiate texts as well.
As a man thats 35 years old, I must say… most of the girls posting on this should read the first comment!!!!! I ignore OTHER women even if I think think they are extremely gorjous cause im married. Therefore I am taken already..simple as that, I will not stray. Quit overthinking things and move on. Hope you find the guy you want:)
Also I dont wear a ring because I always break out from ANY metal, tried most metals. 4 all the girls out there that wonder WHY I would ignore them. unless it’s taking care of business. Its simple to me. Im married. Im also shy, so I’ve mostly acted same way no matter how attractive I think a girl is.maybe im wondering the same thing as you. Am I attractive? Whats wrong with me? Probably nothing wrong with you. You just didn’t make the offer First and thats why I ignore you.
I meet a man on pof, he drove two hrs more than once. Treated me good. Said my past life, i still hold on to. He wont pick the phone up, answer text. We talk daily over two months. I get on line to see if he is log in. Is this good him to see me on line? I really like him an like try get him back on my life. He has the upgrade on his pof. Which confuse me?
Hi Loretta,
He did tell you that you are holding on to your past life.
Perhaps he feels that he will never be able to get through to you if you are still holding on to something from your past.
Hence, he may have stopped picking up the phone or answering your texts because he just doesn’t want to keep putting in the effort and risk his heart being broken by someone who won’t let go of her past.
It may be a good thing that he sees you online.
However, it doesn’t mean that he will suddenly start communicating with you again.
It may just be a reminder to him that you are still around.
He may have the upgrade because he wants to make full use of the dating site.
This most likely means that he is actively interacting with other women on POF and may also be going out on dates with them.
I am a guy and I have used this on a girl but now I’ve taken it too far. What do I do ? She’s pissed off because I ignored her a lot.
I am a guy and I have used this on a girl but now I’ve taken it too far. What do I do ? She’s pissed off because I ignored her a lot.