Should I Give Up And Move On From Him?

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Should I Give Up And Move On From Him?

Assess how you feel and ask yourself whether going forward is viable.

Determine where you stand mentally.

It is mentally exhausting making a relationship work when the other party isn’t putting in equal effort.

Is this the situation that you are in?

There is only so much to do.

A partner who isn’t putting in the effort required to make this relationship work means it is time for you to move on.

You have to understand that no matter how badly you want something to work, there are limits.

Your time and energy isn’t infinite.

How connected do you feel to this guy?

Do you put in your hardest effort and still not get the response you want from him?

Have you two had a discussion about how you are feeling?

What was discussed and how did he respond to you?

Don’t get too excited when he tells you he wants to be better.

No more excuses.

His lack of progress shows he clearly isn’t serious.

There is no forcing him to feel something he doesn’t.

A lack of effort to make this relationship work better is a signal that it doesn’t mean much to him.

Is that what you want?

Someone who believes that the relationship isn’t worth it, isn’t invested in the relationship.

He is existing within the relationship and not experiencing it.

He has no desire to take the relationship to the next level or truly work on disputes.

Feeling that you have put out an effort and given it your all while he hasn’t reciprocated is your cue to give up and move on.

Many people in your situation stay, thinking that things get better.

They then discover that things aren’t getting better because the other person is not putting out the effort.

The result is wasted time and effort.

Don’t put yourself in this position.

Not attempting to make this relationship work now, is a harbinger that he won’t in the future.

No more lip service.

Action speaks a lot louder than words and so far his actions have been either lukewarm or non-existent.

The longer that people stay in relationships like this, the more insecure and unhappy they are about themselves.

They don’t know why they keep failing to get their partner in line.

Consequently, they interpret their partner’s behavior as a sign that there is something wrong with them, as their self-esteem suffers.

People who think like this have been in the relationship too long.

Sometimes, the damage is irrevocable and leaves the person feeling trapped and isolated.

This is not a place to aspire to.

Make your assessments.

When your efforts have been in vain, you move on.

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2 thoughts on “Should I Give Up And Move On From Him?”

  1. Hey I’m sorry this is such a long story but I really need help. Before I even met this guy he told his mom (who is good friends with my parents) he thought i was “beautiful” when he found out I was only 17 he backed off because he was 27 and thought it wouldnt work out. He completely ignored me because he knew I was moving in a couple months. At the last minute he stopped faking shyness and started talking to me, asking questions, etc. I got his number before I moved away last august. We’ve texted nearly everyday since even if it’s just a quick goodnight. He seems really interested but (I think) because of the distance he won’t tell me how he really feels about me. He doesnt really open up to people but he’s told me some personal stuff and some secrets that could really ruin his rep. I know I’m in love with him but I’m still in high school and I live really far away. Im worried he will never tell me he loves me because of the complications. He doesnt have much money but he says hes gonna try to see me doen here (after I graduate no doubt) We want all the same things. I want to be married young and he wants a younger woman. But I need him to be open with me. What do I do? Hes so sweet and we talk a lot but other times its like im not even a priority to him. I told him I love him and he said “you too” and “same” another time and i jokingly said “that was heartfelt” and he didnt respond after that. What’s going on? Does he love me or am I just another girl friend? What should I do? Im afraid of loosing him. He means everything to me…

  2. Hi Lauren,

    He may truly be worried about the fact that the both of you are so far apart in distance. He may not want to invest his true emotions into the relationship when he doesn’t quite know where it could lead. The distance could be a major problem.

    Also, he may not be telling you that he “loves” you back because he isn’t sure about how he feels emotionally right now. He may not want to give you the wrong impression and make you hopeful of a future with him when he isn’t even sure of where this is all going.

    It is likely that he does have feelings for you. He may not love you the way you love him but it appears that he does care about you. You should try to just be friends with him at this time and try not to talk too much about love.

    Let this relationship develop naturally. If it is meant to move towards romance, it will. Just try your best not to force the issue because this guy means so much to you. You have to try to simply be yourself and be his friend.

    At some point, if he feels like he wants to take this relationship to the next level, he will. But for now, live your life. Be socially active and stay positive.

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