You should do whatever falls within the parameters of the relationship.
If the both of you have set strict guidelines for the kind of friends with benefits relationship you have that doesn’t include dates, you should stick with that.
The problem is that a lot of people don’t set any real parameters or guidelines for their friends with benefits relationship.
They just get into one and literally coast in the hopes that everything works out okay.
If the both of you never discussed going out for meals together, you shouldn’t be having meals together.
This will only start leading to confusion.
The kind of confusion that you are in right now.
You shouldn’t be wondering if you should pay for the meal of your friend with benefits because the both of you should have already set the guidelines beforehand.
If you are wondering, it means that there are no guidelines for your friends with benefits relationship and this is a major problem.
Without guidelines, you may start doing things that take the current relationship beyond what it is.
If you start going out on meals together, what exactly are you trying to prove?
Yes, this is technically a “friend,” however, how close of a friend are they really?
What exactly are you hoping to gain by putting yourself in this position?
Perhaps you feel like this is normal.
All you are doing is going out for meals.
However, what often happens when you make this habitual is that one of you starts getting the wrong idea.
Also, if you decide to pay for these meals, the other person over time may start to think that there is more to this relationship than sex.
This is where you really need to be certain about the type of friends with benefits relationship you have.
You should have a discussion with your friend about this today.
Set some parameters or guidelines for the relationship.
You should be as specific as possible. Yes, that means you literally spell things out.
You tell them what you would be comfortable doing and not doing in the relationship.
You tell them just how far you would be willing to go in certain scenarios.
You can even get as specific as how often the both of you should communicate and when.
Your friend should also lay out their own specific parameters for the relationship as well.
There should be a real agreement between the both of you to stick with the parameters that you both decide on enforcing within the relationship.
You should only deviate after having had another discussion.
It has to be a conscious decision on both your parts to deviate and introduce a new activity to the relationship.
If that activity so happens to be that you go out on meals from time to time, then you should both take turns to pay for the meals.
This way, no one party feels pressured.
If any one party feels pressure, it could put a strain on the friends with benefits relationship.
This is what you have to do.
Get together and set specific parameters. Once those parameters have been set, you will not find yourself in this position.
You would both know just how far you are willing to take the relationship beyond the bedroom because you would have agreed on it beforehand.
Join The Discussion
- Last Post