Having ebbs and flows in a relationship is commonplace.
It’s like an ocean wave that has a surge and recedes.
The surge is your relationship on a high, happy emotions are prevalent, and everything is fine and cool.
Followed by receding lows, where happy emotions are replaced with a sense of monotony or boredom.
Highs and lows are a characteristic of every relationship, including the healthiest ones.
Being on a high at all times in a relationship is impossible.
When one or both parties misinterprets the lows is where you run into trouble.
You are so intent on getting back to that high, an argument is instigated.
A fix isn’t required.
You are just on a natural low, after a heavy ocean tide.
Yet, this lull feels like there is much more to it and you are looking to fix something that isn’t broken.
One or both of you craves a return to that honeymoon experience.
Yesterday was so glorious.
There was time spent at the beach or somewhere lovely.
Your partner gave you a phenomenal massage.
The lovemaking was fabulous.
Today, neither one is talking much, as you both busy yourselves with your usual daily routine.
You don’t like it.
What is going on?
How is it that yesterday was so romantic and today so quiet.
You feel neglected and now the argument.
Fingers are being pointed at each other.
Before you both know it, it’s a screaming match and threats of a breaking up are spat out by one or both parties.
Now a deep lull.
Days go by as you both sulk over an argument that had no basis.
There was nothing to fix.
A natural low after a high in a relationship is normal.
Be careful that you don’t expect your partner to keep you at a constant high in your relationship.
This is an unhealthy approach to relationships.
Relationships come with highs and lows.
To avoid making the lows ugly, lasting much longer than they need to, be aware of them and use these moments to go off and do something independently that aids you in growing as a person.
Time for personal growth absent of a partner is a needed ingredient in any successful relationship.
Participate in a new or recurring hobby.
Read a book.
Meet a mentor for lunch.
Work on your garden.
Instead of craving that high back and instigating an argument, get busy.
This benefits your relationship by preventing redundant arguments.
Additionally, it makes your highs even higher, as you both have new stories to tell each other about what you recently experienced while in a lull.