Is It Okay To Ask Your Girlfriend About Her Exes?

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Is It Okay To Ask Your Girlfriend About Her Exes?

You shouldn’t make it a point to ask your girlfriend about her exes.

The topic about exes is one that should simply happen naturally based on what your girlfriend is willing to divulge.

This could be very unsettling to her to the point of jeopardizing your relationship in a big way.

If you start beleaguering her with a constant barrage of questions about her exes, she may begin to doubt the type of relationship that you are both currently in.

She may feel like you lack the confidence to simply be in this relationship and let the past be just that, the past.

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This is where it becomes such a problem when you start harping on the exes issue.

She may wonder if you trust her at all and this may cause a strain on the relationship that may cause it to start cracking.

What you will discover is that the more you ask her about her exes, the more she may close herself off to you.

This can be the death blow to a healthy relationship.

When your girlfriend becomes closed off to you, she is closing you out emotionally.

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A girl who closes you out emotionally is essentially blocking you out.

The longer this lasts, the more likely her love for you will diminish.

Women are emotional beings and if you make them cut off that part of them that makes them expressive, you cut out a big part of the foundation in which they base their romantic relationships.

Ask yourself this.

Why do you want to know about her exes so much? What is it that has gotten you so curious that you simply have to know?

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Why are you of the frame of mind that this is knowledge that you have to know so badly?

What have you been told by someone outside your relationship?

Have there been rumors that you’ve heard that have gotten you worried?

No matter the case, do understand that what matters most is the here and now.

Sure, knowing your partner’s history helps you to determine the type of person you are dealing with to an extent.

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However, that information should be allowed to come out in due time, if and when your partner feels comfortable doing so.

We all have pasts.

We are not all proud of what we have done in our pasts.

Does that mean that we do not have the capacity to change or improve ourselves?

Of course not.

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If you feel that her history with her exes makes you uncomfortable in some way, you should ask yourself about your past as well.

Have you always walked the straight and narrow path?

Are there some skeletons in your closet that may not put you in the best of light?

Sure there are.

No one is perfect.

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Your focus right now should be on trying to make this relationship work and building rapport with your girlfriend.

The more rapport you build with her, the more she trusts you.

The more she trusts you, the more willing she will be to share information with you in the future. This is how she may ultimately reveal more about her exes.

She does so on her own volition because she reaches such a level of confidence in the relationship that she is comfortable doing it.

010By Luke Iwuji, a dating coach and founder of DatingLogic.net. For the best professional dating or relationship advice, Book a Session with me.


3 thoughts on “Is It Okay To Ask Your Girlfriend About Her Exes?”

  1. Sometimes Ignorance is Bliss, even if you want to know. do you really want to know? if you ask her about her past lovers and her past sex life, it could shake you down to your core. at the time it seems like curiosity but eventually it turns into Jealousy and resentment, you find that its all you think about. her with her past lovers. and you wonder why it even matters to you so much, but it does all the same. and it can be a real problem. so ask yourself. Do you really want to know? do you really want the details? does it even matter?

  2. Unbelievable. This very site has an article titled, “Does your girlfriend have the right to know about your exe?”. In that article they clearly mention that the boy should tell his girlfriend about his past, and in this article they say that the boy should not force these questions on his girls and rather live in the moment. What hypocrisy and bigotry is this. Are relationships not two way? Clearly this page is more interested in gaining popularity amongst females and chooses to ignore men and their issue.

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