There is nothing wrong with asking a girlfriend about her exes, so long as your questions are relevant to the discussion at hand.
Asking your girlfriend about her exes for the sole purpose of doing so isn’t wise, especially when you detect uneasiness from your girlfriend.
Information comes out in due time.
At this stage in your relationship with her, be content with the information she is fine with sharing.
Beleaguering her with a constant barrage of questions about her exes, when she has shown a degree of discomfort, is inconsiderate.
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The truth is, at this moment in time, she isn’t ready to share everything.
It doesn’t mean she never does.
Regardless of how comfortable you are in the relationship, she isn’t where she is fully ready to trust you or doesn’t want to rehash memories about an ex that distresses her.
Constant inquiries doesn’t give your relationship the space to develop further trust, as every time you have made some gains in this area, you ruin it by badgering her with questions about her exes.
This persistence in asking her about her exes has the opposite effect.
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Rather than opening her up, she closes herself off to you in general, serving a horrendous blow to what was otherwise a healthy relationship.
When your girlfriend becomes closed off to you, she is closing you out emotionally.
A girl who closes you out emotionally is blocking you out.
The longer this lasts, the greater the odds her love for you diminishes.
Women are emotional beings and when you force them to shut down their emotional tendencies, depriving them of emotional expression, you leave them spiritually handicapped, incapable of loving and accepting you wholeheartedly.
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Ask yourself this.
Why do you want to know about her exes so much?
What is it that has you so curious, you have to know?
Why is this knowledge so urgent?
Has someone outside your relationship told you something bothersome about her exes?
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Are there rumors that have left you worried?
No matter the case, what matters most is the here and now.
Undoubtedly, knowing your partner’s history provides greater insight into their character.
Notwithstanding, that information comes out in due time, when your partner is ready to divulge it.
We all have pasts.
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We are not all proud of what we have done in our pasts.
Does that mean that we do not have the capacity to change or improve ourselves?
Of course not.
Whenever you have an itch to barrage her with questions about her exes, stop, and ask yourself about your past.
Have you perpetually walked the straight and narrow path?
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Are there some skeletons in your closet?
Sure there are.
No one is perfect.
Your focus right now has to be on building further rapport with your girlfriend.
The more rapport you build with her, the more she trusts you.
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The more she trusts you, the more information she shares with you in the future.
This is how she reveals more about her exes.
She does so on her own volition, having reached such a level of confidence in the relationship that she is comfortable doing it.
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Sometimes Ignorance is Bliss, even if you want to know. do you really want to know? if you ask her about her past lovers and her past sex life, it could shake you down to your core. at the time it seems like curiosity but eventually it turns into Jealousy and resentment, you find that its all you think about. her with her past lovers. and you wonder why it even matters to you so much, but it does all the same. and it can be a real problem. so ask yourself. Do you really want to know? do you really want the details? does it even matter?
All very true Anonymous, all very true.
Unbelievable. This very site has an article titled, “Does your girlfriend have the right to know about your exe?”. In that article they clearly mention that the boy should tell his girlfriend about his past, and in this article they say that the boy should not force these questions on his girls and rather live in the moment. What hypocrisy and bigotry is this. Are relationships not two way? Clearly this page is more interested in gaining popularity amongst females and chooses to ignore men and their issue.