Am I Too Nice? How Do You Know When You Are Being Used?

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Am I Too Nice? How Do You Know When You Are Being Used?

When you are feeling like you are being used, you probably are.

These are your instincts talking to you.

Step back and evaluate what you are feeling.

There is a reason why someone in your life is making you feel used.

Have you found yourself constantly aiding this person, doing them favors, without reciprocation on their part?



Repeatedly accommodating them, at the expense of your own convenience, and rarely receiving acknowledgment or reciprocation, is you being too nice and used.

Your instincts are your guide.

As human beings we are born with instincts.

Instincts don’t exclusively guide our need to procreate or protect, they guide our sense of intuition.

When was the last time this person did something good to you or for you?



How about inviting you to an activity or event with them, while they footed the bill?

No?

That isn’t good.

In your most recent challenges where you needed support or someone to listen to you, were they present?

Are you constantly having to go to a good friend for emotional support, knowing that your partner never cares to listen to your problems?



Their absence when you need them the most is your reminder you are being used.

When was the last time they put in a good word about you to their friends and acquaintances, or defended your character?

With all these instances, having to think excessively hard just to come up with the last time this person has given you support or had your back, is your cue that you are being too nice and getting used.

It isn’t hard for you to remember the last time you aided or supported this person, as you do this regularly.

That shows a lop-sidedness in the power dynamics of your relationship.



You are doing too much and they are doing too little.

Being nice isn’t bad.

The complication arises when you adhere to the belief that being nice is consummately about making someone else’s life more convenient than your own.

This is where nice people go wrong.

Believing that for them to be liked, they have to inconvenience themselves or do more than their fair share to make someone else’s life better.



Nice people do this to be accepted too.

Unfortunately, this has the opposite effect when you meet unsavory individuals who know how to take advantage of nice people such as yourself.

Understand your worth.

You deserve to be treated with respect and deference just as you do others.

Accept your value and why you are as deserving of attention and support as a partner.



Don’t develop the habit of making everything about your partner’s pleasure.

Sometimes, nice people do so much, they never give their partners too much of a chance to reciprocate.

When you give, step back.

Give your partner the space to reciprocate.

Do this repeatedly.



Every time you give, step back and wait for them to give back.

This is where they show you how invested they are in you.

Giving must not be lop-sided.

Meaning, don’t give a hundred times to their one.

No, giving needs to be equal.



That’s how you create a healthy balance of giving and reciprocation in your relationship.

A partner who doesn’t give back is a partner who isn’t worth you.

Stop expending so much energy and time on them.

Being with a partner who appreciates what you do for them and reciprocates equally, is the healthiest pairing to be in.

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