Is It A Red Flag That My Boyfriend Punches The Wall?

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Is It A Red Flag That My Boyfriend Punches The Wall?

If you have noticed that your boyfriend tends to punch the wall when you two get into arguments, it is not necessarily a red flag.

However, you do need to analyze the act itself carefully.

You should take note of how often he does this and at what point.

As humans, we can get emotionally carried away when we are upset.

So, we strike out.

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For some people, striking out could mean going on an ice cream eating binge or watching a marathon of Friends on TV.

For others, they may strike a wall or throw something.

This is the way that they express and to a great extent, release their anger.

Now, the reason why this isn’t necessarily a red flag is because this could be the way in which they have been expressing themselves their entire lives.

They may do this with close friends and family members as well.

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This is where you will need to analyze the act.

In the scenario where they are likely to do this with close friends and family, you will know if these incidents have ever gone any further than this to something physical by simply talking to these individuals.

They will be able to tell you if his anger has gone beyond punching a wall and crossed into hurting someone else physically.

You may be uneasy trying to find this out.

However, there are subtle ways that you can do this.

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Talking to a friend or family member that you really get along with about his history is a good start.

If you have spent some time in building rapport with this person, it will be easier for them to tell you more about his history and let you know if he has ever gotten physically violent with someone.

Hence, if he has, well, you know that this is someone that just may become physically violent with you at some point in the future.

If he hasn’t, you shouldn’t burden yourself with fear and worry.

What you should work on however is in ensuring that the both of you communicate on a level that allows an expression of opinions without devolving into heated arguments.

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There is a reason why couples who argue a lot don’t last very long.

There is always an innate problem within the relationship that never gets resolved after every argument.

All that tends to happen is that they both get mad, hate each other for a while, then have sex and make up.

This is no way to keep a relationship going.

Hence, his punching the wall should be an indicator to you that these arguments need to be more constructive.

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If you are always taking a defensive and accusatory stance, he will always feel the need to defend himself and that may be what tends to set him off.

The point of the story is that you should initially do some investigation to find out if he has a history of actual physical violence against others.

If he does, it is only a matter of time before you become a victim.

If he doesn’t, punching the wall may be his form of expression and release.

Avoid having any more incidents like that by allowing the both of you to converse about disagreements versus argue.

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When the both of you are level-headed, it is easier to get along and solve issues so that they don’t reoccur in the future.

010By Luke Iwuji, a dating coach and founder of DatingLogic.net. For the best professional dating or relationship advice, Book a Session with me.