Do People Become A Little Critical And Lose Emotion Once Someone Likes Them Back?

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Do People Become A Little Critical And Lose Emotion Once Someone Likes Them Back?

It is not unusual to lose the butterflies for someone once you notice that the person is returning your advances.

In this scenario, they are seemingly interested and now may want to pursue something with you.

As a result, you begin to feel less inclined.

What happened?

You were so interested in this person initially.



There is something about human nature that makes us curious and so excited about someone when they aren’t showing us as much interest.

We are mystified by this person.

You start thinking about what this person is like because you barely know them.

You start wondering if you even have a chance.

Those types of feelings get you excited as a human being. The sense of uncertainty and wonder.



Once this person starts showing you the affection that you may have thought you wanted from them, that air of mystery about this person starts to wane.

They are no longer the unknown.

They start becoming the known.

There is something very predictable and boring about the known.

You have seen it before.



You have had that person in your past who gushed over you and gave you a lot of attention.

You have had that person in the past who believed that you could do no wrong.

Now, this person that you have liked is showing the same traits.

This is familiar to you and all of a sudden, this person who seemed so mysterious and different becomes like many of the rest.

The experience is no longer new, it is familiar and somewhat uninteresting.



You want to be kept on your toes with excitement.

You want to be constantly wondering if you have a chance or whether this person even noticed you when you looked their way.

With that sense of danger and uncertainty gone, now replaced with someone who is returning the same emotion your way, you become critical of them because they are just like everyone else.

It becomes mundane.

The mystery is essentially gone and hence the emotion.



You no longer feel that urge to get to know them because you can now put their story together in your head based on the evidence that they have presented to you.

It’s almost like the secret is now out and as a result, there is a lot less desire.


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2 thoughts on “Do People Become A Little Critical And Lose Emotion Once Someone Likes Them Back?”

  1. Hi,

    I have dated a guy over a year now. The first three months were great and then he began to slip away from me. But still, he would never totally let go of me. I really talked to him about spending more time together, but somehow it would always just end up in a meeting every month. As I really liked the guy I could not let go, what would have been maybe better. Instead, I kept on trying. He always ensured me that for him it was going into the right direction, otherwise he would not want to see me. I felt like once he really knew I liked him, he messed with me. He was not ready for something serious, but dragged me along. Now finally after a year he made up his mind and he was like writing a long break up message when we weren’t even really together. My question is now: I felt we made a huge mistake at the beginning of our relationship – we got physicially without the necessary emotional connection. I built emotional connection, but he didn’t. So, if I keep on with my life – also dating other guys – is it possible that he might actually wants to get to know me also as a friend or is it wasted forever if it didn’t work out? I really like this guy but see it as healthier to have a break now. Nevertheless I feel like in a couple of years maybe things might be different and we are both on the same page concering relationship. I would be happy if you could give me an advice! Thanks in advance

  2. Hi Sue,

    You didn’t make a huge mistake in the beginning by getting physical with him before the emotional connection. Most people get physical before they get really emotional with someone to the point where they fall in love.

    That wasn’t the problem.

    The problem was that this guy was never truly interested in you. You were always the one who tried to get him more involved and not him. It is unlikely that his attitude will change. You shouldn’t keep trying and hoping. You should move on with your life.

    I know you really like him but you just can’t force him to feel something that he doesn’t, no matter how much you wish or wait for it to happen.

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