In order to unfriendzone him, let him know how you feel about him.
Yes, be upfront and transparent about your intentions.
Where people fail is when they play games after they realize that they want to unfriendzone someone.
Instead of informing the person about how they feel about them, they flirt or use different methods to gauge that person’s interest.
This is disingenuous.
It feels a bit much to come right out and let this person that you friendzoned know that your feelings for them has changed, but it is the best and most effective method.
They don’t know what you are desiring, having accepted their role as friend and letting things play out accordingly.
Wanting the rules to change, you need to change their frame of mind and draw them out of the mindset that they are just your friend.
You have to put in the effort.
Keep from relying on throwing signals in his direction.
This is the cowardly route to unfriendzone him.
He misreads your signals and is so confused.
Expecting him to know that hearing compliments from you now means you like him romantically, isn’t realistic.
He looks at that as you being kind to him or you having a really nice day and feeling complimentary.
Don’t expect him to know that you like him more than a friend because you touch him more now.
Noting that you are being more affectionate, he looks at it as merely a sign of a deepening platonic friendship.
Be direct.
Wanting to unfriendzone him, you have to just tell him the truth about how you feel about him.
A feeling that renders you frozen from worry or fear is more indicative of you putting those sentiments above the urgency of your true feelings.
Love is risk.
We open ourselves up to hurt because it is worth it.
When you aren’t forthcoming with him about your romantic feelings for him, you are basically saying that he isn’t worth it.
As you wrestle with this, don’t ignore the potential of him meeting someone he fancies and losing him to this new person.
Act now, while he is single, or forever regret your reluctance.
Hi 🙂 I would be glad if you would give me an advice or your point of view on my situation.
We know each other for two years, he moved into my village and he is actually my neighbour. We started writing a lot, like really long paragraphs of text, we were sharing our opinions, we were teasing each other and it looked like a start of a nice romantic relationship. He invited me on a date but suddenly he changed his mind. It was a time when I just ended my 7year relationship with my ex. He explain me that he is afraid to start dating with me. Probably he thought that there is a chance that I would come back to my ex. Unfortunately, I really felt in love with him, trying to tell him. But he insists on being just friends. He was drunk one night, sending me SMS to go for a walk with him or that he would like to be falling asleep with me. He was assuring me that he is serious even when he is drunk. Other day he sent me SMS apologizing to me. He never writes me first, but he always writes me to wish happy birthday, name day, christmas.. he is friendly, he teases me, but does not react to flirtations. I feel I do not understand him and his feelings. A have a feeling that he wants to keep a distance. I am 24 and he is 22. He is now in complicated relationship. Any advice for me? Do you think it is really over? I even do not know how to behave when I will accidentaly meet him.
Hi Petra,
It may not be over but you should have an honest talk with him and let him know how you truly feel about him. Ask him if he sees a future with you. This is one of the best ways to find out for sure where this relationship stands.
I met a guy in Fall 2011 in my class and he would always stare at me whenever I walked into class. He always had that yearning look on his face. One time he said that I had pretty hair………….. In summer 2013 we crossed paths again in a prep class. He would always park next to me. One time I was sitting in my car and talking o the phone and when I looked to my right, he was staring at me with that yearning look. ……………..That fall I volunteered at an organization he created with his friends. He invited me to the board meeting and introduced me to all his friends as “Hey I want you to meet Anna that Ive told you about.” Th entire meeting he stared at me even while he was talking to his friends. That night on his twitter he posted: “I wish I could shut off these feelings…” …………….This semester he is in one of my classes. On the first day he sat behind me and said “Hi Anna how are you?” and he had that yearning look. He still sits behind me. Today when class was over I turned to my side to get my stuff and he was staring. As I was slowly getting up and he did the same and I sat back down and he still did the same. Then I got up and he did the same. We talked for a bit and he was was nervous. I do like him. Last week I had to send him my notes and he texted me and complimented my handwriting. He said it was amazing and immaculate……….Today as I was slowly getting up and he did the same and I sat back down and he still did the same. Update : I asked if he has a gf and he said “No, not looking for that now. Just trying to stay focused.” Hes a legit guy not a pervert. Once when I was walking to class, he was sitting outside of the class and kept staring at me as I was walking to class. Sometimes when he leaves class he’ll turn around and look at me as he leaves. Last night we were helping each other with hw through text from 6-9pm. A few hours later he texted me good night. He invited me to study with him for the final. Update 2: After we studied, we were leaving the library and he hugged me goodbye. Today I told him that I noticed things for the past 3 yrs that would make me think he liked me. I said im pretty sure we both feel the same about each other. He said he doesnt think of me in that way and only sees me as a friend.
Hi Anna,
Perhaps he isn’t ready for a relationship. When you asked him whether he has a gf, he said that he wasn’t looking for that now and wanted to stay focused. You may have to just stay friends and let him work out his feelings. He may come around in the future.
However, do try to understand that compliments about your handwriting and staring doesn’t always mean that a guy likes you. It’s best when the guy takes initiative to call and hang out with you. Those are better signs of possible romantic interest.