I Refuse To Settle For Less And I’ve Been Single For A Few Years. Am I Doing This Wrong?

You just might.

Your refusal to settle for less needs to be brought into perspective. You need to ask yourself what exactly you believe to be less.

What you believe to be less may be something that can be worked on and adjusted.

As you grow as a person, your needs change. If you get stuck on what your needs were a few years ago simply because you feel like you have to stick to your guns, you could be the one who is setting yourself up for failure.

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There is a reason why you’ve been single for a few years.


You haven’t found whatever or whoever it is that meets everything that you are looking for in a person. Clearly, the reality of what it is that you want is not that easy to attain.

This is not necessarily about you having to curtail what it is that you want or deny yourself what it is that you want.

However, this is more so about asking yourself whether at this stage in your life you truly need all the requirements in a person that you had set up a few years ago.

Is there something in there that you can adjust or change because you have now reached a place in your own life where it may not even be necessary?

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This is why it is so important that you take an assessment of your life and where you have come as a person in these last few years that you have been single.


Have you made progress in certain areas?

Have you grown?

Have you experienced and learned?

Has your perspective on certain things changed?

These are all questions that you should ask yourself because oftentimes people don’t do it. They erroneously believe that they are that exact person that they were a few years ago when in fact some things about them have changed.

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If you can make this assessment of yourself and in the process realize that you have truly changed as a person in certain areas of your life, you can then look at what it is that you look for in a partner and make the necessary adjustments.


You may be surprised at how much you have grown as a person in the last few years that you have been single.

There is clearly a reason why you are still single after these last few years.

If you make this personal assessment of yourself and discover that indeed you haven’t changed in any aspect and you still want the exact same things in a partner that you did a few years ago, then you will need to ask yourself whether you are putting yourself around the right kind of people.

If there is a particular type of partner that you want to be with and yet you tend to surround yourself with people who are the complete opposite of that, you will find it a lot harder to meet that partner.

Hence, you will need to consistently put yourself in the kind of environments that your ideal partner would be in.

In essence, you shouldn’t sit back and expect your partner to come to you or magically appear at your doorstep. You need to be proactive and take relevant and consistent action.


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