For one thing, you shouldn’t burden him with this knowledge if it isn’t warranted or needed.

You are thinking that he is your boyfriend, and as a result, you are obligated to share your deepest fears and past hurts with him, but you don’t have to.

These are emotions that you are better off reconciling on your own.

The danger that many face in your situation is when they believe that having a boyfriend in their ticket to using him as a figurative bucket.

They unload all their deepest fears and past hurts on the boyfriend, burdening him with personal issues that they haven’t resolved.

This isn’t what your boyfriend is there for.

He is not the bucket wherein you pour your deepest fears and past hurts, or all of your emotional baggage.

That’s a lot to put on him.

He is someone who cares about you and wants to have a bright future with you.

He isn’t your therapist.

If you are this emotionally damaged by your deepest fears and past hurts, you are better off speaking to a professional counselor or therapist who is equipped to guide you through your issues.

The danger in believing that you can share your deepest fears and past hurts with your boyfriend, is in thinking that this is his job.

It isn’t.

You have to resolve these emotional issues by yourself.

The only time that it is alright to divulge this information to your boyfriend is when you have already resolved them.

Tell him about it when you are well aware that you are over it, and you are complimenting him on how much of a breath of fresh air he is in comparison to those previous relationships.

Bringing up your deepest fears and past hurts work when you draw parallels with him as he explains painful past relationships he has been in.

This is where you are relating to him, not using him as your personal therapist.

This is permissible.

There are circumstances where you can joke about your past when something you saw or heard triggered the memory.

This is where you aren’t sharing this information with your boyfriend because you are looking for a shoulder to cry on, or have him be your therapist, but you are mentioning it as it seemed to fit the moment.

When you are in a relatively new relationship with your boyfriend, be cautious about sharing this deep information.

A relatively new boyfriend doesn’t want to get all of this profound information so soon into the relationship.

He is piecing your personality together, and if he gets the vibe that you are emotionally damaged or mentally needy, you run the risk that he gets worried and wants out.

Your best option is to deal with these issues in your own way and not burden your boyfriend with them.

It’s alright to mention that you are talking to a therapist about these issues, or meditating, and leave it at that.

In the event that he wants to become an active part of your healing process and learn more, it’s appropriate to tell him about your deepest fears and past hurts.

But, in small doses.

Don’t give him more than he can handle in one go, and never make him think that you must have him in your life to get through it.

Remember, this is your past that we are talking about.

It is personal.

This behooves you to take charge of it and resolve it in a personal way.