Well, for one thing, you shouldn’t burden him with this knowledge if it isn’t warranted or needed.
You may feel that he is your boyfriend and you should be able to share your deepest fears and past hurts with him, but you don’t necessarily have to.
These may be emotions that you need to deal with on your own.
The danger that many face in your situation is when they believe that just because they have a boyfriend, they should pour all of their history on him.
This isn’t really what your boyfriend is there for. He is not the bucket wherein you can pour your deepest fears and past hurts or all of your emotional baggage.
That’s a lot to put on him.
He is someone who cares about you and may want to have a bright future with you.
He isn’t your therapist.
If you are this emotionally damaged by your deepest fears and past hurts, you may be better off speaking to a professional counselor or therapist who can guide you through your issues.
Again, the danger in believing that you can share your deepest fears and past hurts with your boyfriend is in thinking that this is his job.
It really isn’t.
You have to deal with these issues in your own way.
The only time that it is alright to divulge some of this information is when you have already dealt with them.
You may tell him about some of it because you are already over it and you want him to know that he is nothing like what you have experienced in the past.
You may even be curious about whether he has experienced the same and hence may be looking to draw some parallels of similarity with him.
You may even bring it up as a joke because something you saw triggered that memory.
In other words, you aren’t sharing this information with your boyfriend because you are looking for a shoulder to cry on or have him become your therapist, you are just mentioning it because it seemed to fit the moment.
If you are in a relatively new relationship with your boyfriend, you should even be more cautious about sharing this kind of information.
He may not want to get all of this so soon.
He is still piecing your personality together and if he gets the vibe that you are emotionally damaged or mentally needy, he may become worried and may want out.
Your best option is to deal with these issues in your own way and not burden your boyfriend with them.
You could mention that you are talking to a therapist about them and leave it at that. You could mention that you meditate a lot and this has helped you deal with your demons and leave it at that.
If he is the type of boyfriend that just wants to know more and really wants to be a part of this, you can consider divulging more information.
However, even if he is this kind of boyfriend, you should give him information in very small doses.
Don’t give him more than he can handle at one go and never make him feel like you need him in order to get through it.
Remember, this is your own past and feelings that we are talking about.
It is personal and your focus should be on dealing with them and overcoming them in your own intimate way.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.