There are families that are capable of having a dynamic where an elderly family member lives among them, alongside a daughter and son-in-law who are significant others, and their children.

And it works well for them.

It works out in these scenarios because both you and your partner have found the benefit in having your mother around the house.

People in general do this because the mother helps with babysitting the children when they have to be at work.

She takes the children to appointments that they can’t go on, being that they can’t get the time off work.

The mother assists in paying bills.

If she is still earning income or receiving a pension, she chips in and pays bills around the house.

This alleviates the financial pressure that comes with running a household with children.

There is a cost and benefit analysis that goes into these decisions that are beneficial to your partnership as a whole.

However, the best approach is always with something that both you and your partner have mutually agreed to.

A mother that lives with you on the behest of only one partner causes friction in your relationship with said partner.

You may not want the mom to be there and she is.

She is getting involved in your business and you don’t like that.

These arrangements work out the best when either partner wholeheartedly agrees that this is for the best.

Consider how things will be once the children are older.

The mom is doing more with her own friends.

She develops a stronger sense of independence now that the children are off at school or can take care of themselves.

She asks you whether you are still okay with her being around.

At this stage, she isn’t entirely certain of what her function is in your relationship.

The children are no longer dependent and she is living with two other adults.

This is when you get to a crossroads in this experience.

Sometimes, things do work out and the mom ends up staying on, as a rapport has been built up over time with her.

There is a feeling of gratitude for how she has contributed to your household over the years.

As a result, you want to return the favor, especially now that she is getting older and requires more of your attention with her health.

This works for some and doesn’t for others.

This is why you have to consider all of the major scenarios that occur with this arrangement.

You are better off when this decision is mutual.

Sometimes, these arrangements work best when the mom has a totally separate section of the house that she lives in.

This maintains privacy for her, for you, and your partner.