What Should I Do When He Says It Is Not A Serious Relationship?

If he has told you that it is not a serious relationship, he has told you what he feels.

In essence, he doesn’t see you as a long-term dating prospect.

He is most likely not in love with you nor does he care about you the way you do him.

He has told you how he feels.

This is when the true test comes.

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Can you accept that?

If you can, you will assess what you truly want out of this and move forward. If you can’t, you will continue hoping that something changes.

You may hope that he changes his mind at some point. You may even tell yourself that he is only telling you this because he hasn’t come to terms with his true feelings for you.

You may make yourself believe that his true feelings are that of love.

Perhaps you feel that he only needs a little more time to eventually accept the fact that he loves you and come around.

This is very dangerous.

This is you forcing yourself to believe something that is most likely not there. The feelings that you hope for are simply that, hope.

This kind of hope is dangerous because it is not truly based on realistic evidence.

It is based on what you hope for and what you probably dream about from day to day.

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The fact is, you can’t make him feel something for you that he doesn’t. You just can’t.

If he has told you that it is not a serious relationship, it isn’t. He has been honest with you.

Are you going to accept it?

This is where the problem tends to be.

When you are unwilling to accept what he has told you. This is you finding ways to be in denial.

Since you may want more than what he is willing to offer, you begin to find ways to convince yourself that there is more to this than there really is.

Maybe you believe that he told you this due to a recent argument.

In essence, your reasoning is that he is reacting to the argument impulsively and doesn’t really mean what he said.

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Well, you should really take a good hard look at the kind of relationship that you have had with him until this point.

Has he always been readily available?

Has he always communicated in a frequent and open fashion?

Has he always been open with you in terms of his likes and dislikes or what really makes him feel alive?

If you look back, you may notice that he hasn’t always been readily available.

He also may not have always communicated in a frequent and open fashion.

He may also have shown a degree of sensitivity and unwillingness when it came to opening up to you about what he likes, dislikes or really cares about.

These are all signs of a guy who has never been willing to take the relationship to the next level. The evidence has probably always been there. You have just chosen to ignore them.


I offer three forms of consultation.

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If you want to Skype, my rate is $1/min.

Minimum payment required is $30 for a 30 minute session.


If you want to talk over the phone, my rate is $1/min.

I take both local (United States) and international calls.

Minimum payment required is $30 for a 30 minute session.


If you would rather email me with a question, I have a flat rate of $15.

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