When you want him to open up to you so badly and see you as trustworthy, you are susceptible to taking the blame for some or all of what has caused him hurt in the past.

This is where you assume all of the guilt and wrongdoing.

You aren’t aware you are doing this.

You act as though you are cognizant of his feelings, wanting him to see that you care and can be trusted, but you don’t realize that you are excusing his behavior.

Tell him that you know where he is coming from when he is vitriolic, even though all you were trying to do was get him to do an activity with you or see you as trustworthy.

You forgive his callousness when he is unaffectionate or disrespectful to you because you tell yourself that this is all because of how he has been hurt so badly in the past.

You forgive his selfishness when he refuses to acknowledge that you have your own distinct needs, because you believe that he is doing this due to his past hurt.

Know where all of this can lead before you attempt to open him up or make him see that you are trustworthy.

It’s tempting to give him excuses for bad behavior, being that he has been hurt so badly in the past.

You won’t fix the situation when you use this tactic of forgiveness or turning a blind eye to what he is doing.

Your task is best resolved when you acknowledge your own worth to yourself.

Avoid falling into the trap of believing that your worth has to be dictated by whether he finds you trustworthy or not.

Determine and acknowledge your own worth independently.

Once you determine it and are sure in it, you proceed.

Firstly, don’t give him excuses.

When he misbehaves, call him out on it.

Now, this doesn’t mean that you can’t be sympathetic.

You acknowledge the hurt he has experienced in the past, but you also have to show him the path that leads forward.

Get him involved in life.

In your life.

There should be an air of adventure and growth in your relationship.

You don’t sit around the house moping at each other as he complains about something.

You go out and be proactive.

You get him to engage in activities with you that rely on the both of you working together.

It is paddling a boat or learning a new dance.

It is an activity that requires teamwork.

The more you do this, the more you learn to trust each other.

He sees that you are a team player, and as a consequence, is prone to opening up to you.

Being active is where you solve this problem.

Be team players and take action.

Never empower him to dwell on his past hurt.

Call him out on it when he does.

Keep your relationship moving in a positive direction as you work as a team.

This is what opens him up and builds trust.