Why Does He Stare But Never Approach Me?

He may stare but never approach you because he is nervous and shy.

He may be worried about how he can go about approaching you without coming off in a bad way.

He may be worried about the kind of first impression he will give you upon his approach.

Perhaps he has approached girls in the past and it hasn’t worked out.

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He may have approached girls in the past and tried to talk to them but ended up making a fool of himself or not quite knowing what to say.

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There is a good chance that while he is staring at you, he is thinking about all this stuff.

In his mind, he may be replaying the last time he approached a girl and it went badly. He doesn’t want to go through that experience again and yet he may still be tempted to try to come up and talk to you.

This barrage of conflicting thoughts can be very hard for a guy like himself to deal with. Hence, he becomes nervous and ultimately allows the opportunity to pass him by.

He just won’t do it. He is too nervous and he doesn’t want to fail.

This is one type of guy.

Another type of guy may be staring at you but never approaching because you never give him the right kind of cues.

You have to watch your body language.

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Most guys who stare at girls that they are romantically interested in are looking for some body language cues to show them that the girl is interested in an approach.

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If your body language cues are bad, hard to read or non-existent, he may stare at you but never approach.

Observe your body language whenever this guy is around.

Are you smiling at him?

Do you keep your hands separate and not crossed over your chest?

Do you ensure that your body is constantly facing his direction and not having your back to him instead?

Are you paying attention to your environment and acknowledging people or is your head stuck in your smart phone?

These are just a few behaviors that you have to watch for.

Clearly, you should be smiling at him, keeping your hands separate and not crossed, facing his general direction as much as you can and acknowledging your environment without your head being constantly stuck in your smart phone.

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If you are doing all these things, this guy is more comfortable with the approach because you are giving him cues.

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You are making yourself approachable and not aloof.

Thereby, observe your body language when this guy is around.

Another reason why a guy may stare at you but not approach may be because he already has a girlfriend.

He may be going through some problems with his girlfriend that may be making him doubt the relationship.

He will stare at you from time to time because to some extent you may seem to have the same kind of spunk that his girlfriend had when he first met her that she seems to be losing at that current time.

He may stare at you and yearn for what was with his girlfriend.

However, he ultimately doesn’t approach you because he still loves his girlfriend and hopes that things get better.

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15 thoughts on “Why Does He Stare But Never Approach Me?”

  1. thank you for this post! I am in the same situation.I like this guy at my bible study …I can’t confirm he likes me too. but he stares at me , when we hug he always compliment me that I always smell good but during mingling time (after the bible study) he never approaches me. and yeah it is not that i am not approachable.other guys there approach me casually but my crush don’t. we just hug when I get there and usually when I go to sit he always says ”sit here (beside him), this seat is reserved for you”..pff yeah whatever dude. and yeah he’s not the shy type neither. he always crack jokes with other girls in the group but not with me. Well, it is what it is , I will get over him, I ain’t got time to waste am a grown woman(23) and I ain’t gonna go out my way to chase a dude.

  2. Hi Sarah,

    If he is cracking jokes with the other girls but not with you, he may be trying to see if what he is doing is having any effect on you.

    In other words, he may not want to make a definite move on you unless he truly feels like you are interested.

  3. Thanks a lot for your insight,Admin.
    Yeah he is the funny social type when it comes to other women.his birthday was last week and we had a bible study that day.I told him happy birthday and he was like “aww thanks lot i really appreciate that” he repeated the same thing when he hugged me good bye.after a few days he wrote to me on facebook the same thing like “thanks for the wishes for my birthday I really liked it.” Lol so after that we had a christmas party at the bible study, he hugged me,told me i was looking good but that was it for the night.he would come sit nearby where i was sitting but we wouldn’t talk.smh. i am not the type of person to break the ice either.
    Anyways,i just think i have to move on .I ain’t about those high school games.that dude looks.like he is in his late 20’s.I ve always thought that a guy who likes me will openly tell me.so…Yeah!
    P.s: I love ur website and your videos.keep doing what u do.happy new year

  4. Hi Sarah,

    Thank you for the well wishes and the same to you.

    He is definitely not being forward with how he may truly feel about you. It may take some time for him to eventually just tell you how he feels about you or he may never do it.

    It comes down to how patient you are willing to be.

    However, if you are not the kind for these kind of games, you may be better off moving on.

  5. There was this guy that I’ve never said a word too but we’d always make eye contact which would make me look away. The last time I saw him I initiated the staring, we held each other’s gaze for 2-3 seconds before he looked down and walked away… I don’t know if I should have made a move.

  6. Hi Cam,

    He looks at you often which is typically a sign of interest.

    The way he looked down and walked away would indicate that he is a shy guy.

    Yes, you should have made a move.

  7. Hi,
    There is this guy in my grade. He was in my class last year in 2015 and we had a hardcore stare but I got embarrassed and looked away. Then ever since that day I would notice him staring at me sometimes I would look back other times not, This one time he confronted me in math class and neither of us said anything so he smirked and walked away. So we are now in semester two of 2016 and sometimes our eyes would meet in the hallway but he looks away quickly. I feel like I am the one always initiating the stare since this year. My friend made up this code name for him and I am pretty sure he knows because when my friend said it he was looking at both of us. But today I was running up to my friend to the hallway laughing telling her a story and I mentioned the code name and he looked at me and looked away then his friend look at me. I do not know why that made me really embarrassed. I feel like last year I portrayed to hum that I was a very quiet girl and this year I am just scared to walk by him and his friends in the hallway. I just would like to hear your point of view and would love to know what the guy is thinking to? I guess you can say I like him but I am not 100 percent sure.

  8. Hi Sam,

    He may not quite know what to make of you.

    When he confronted you in math class and nothing was said, he may have been hoping that you would play along and say something that would give him a reason to possibly flirt with you.

    He may be trying to figure you out as well.

    Perhaps he wants something more out of you in order to make him feel inspired to chase you or at least try having a real conversation with you.

  9. So this guy keeps staring at me and these days he is showing up everywhere I go! I have one class with him and whenever I look at him he is staring at me, but he doesn’t look away! I mean I have no interest in this guy, but it freaks me out when he keeps staring at me and showing up every where I go! I just want to know why he does that! Thank You

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