In order to avoid screwing this up, you should ensure that you continue focusing on building yourself as a person as well.
You should maintain your hobbies and start new ones. You should engage in new activities that challenge you both mentally and physically.
This is one way to help you stay focused and grounded on yourself. A major reason why you tend to get too attached or scared once you start dating someone or get into a relationship with them is because your level of focus changes.
It becomes very narrow. All that you really start caring about is what is going on in the relationship and how it is going to fare.
You become lackadaisical about other activities that you used to do or have been meaning to do. Your focus becomes on this relationship and everything else is ignored.
When you place that much focus on one thing, you run the risk of becoming attached to it or scared to lose it.
This can be said of almost anything.
For example, if you were to put all of your focus into building your new home, you would become a lot more prone to attachment to it and being scared to lose it. Same goes for a new business that you start or a new purchase you just made.
Attachment often happens when we have abandoned everything else that used to be important to us and blindly put our focus on that one element.
You shouldn’t be this way.
Keep growing as a person by allowing yourself to continue old activities and starting new ones. You will be less prone to becoming too attached or scared in relationships when you are able to still be your own individual.
You can also avoid screwing this up by ensuring that you don’t move too fast. This means that you allow the relationship to unfold naturally and with ease.
People often make the mistake of moving too fast when they get attached or scared. It makes them feel more secure in the relationship. However, this is often a false sense of security because the relationship is typically too premature in its development.
It can’t really handle the pressures of expectations when its roots haven’t been given the opportunity to grow into the ground yet.
You will need to take account of your emotions every time you sense that you are moving things too fast.
This typically happens when you are trying too hard.
When you try too hard, you will make the other person less prone to wanting to put out the effort to get to know you better.
You make them lose their drive to get to know you because you are not allowing them to discover you. You are giving them everything at once and overloading them with too much information and too much personality.
The dating process is there to help two people learn more about each other as time goes on. It is like peeling an orange over time.
When you try too hard, you are giving this person everything you are and it is simply too much to handle at one time.
Let the person get to know you gradually and steadily.
Let yourself get to know the person at this same pace.
This will help you avoid the dangers of becoming attached too soon and becoming too scared.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.