In order to stop dwelling and move on, you need to let go of this person in your mind.
This means that you need to let go of hope and nostalgia.
Having hope is one of the most prominent reasons why we tend to find it hard to let go of someone.
You will dwell on the hope that things could change for the better.
You will hold on to this hope.
Unfortunately, this is the hope that makes it that much harder for you to accept the reality and true nature of things.
To stop dwelling, you need to stop hoping.
You need to come to terms with the situation. You need to stop projecting what the future might hold.
You may see a future with the person. You may continue allowing yourself to see this future even when you know that your present is in stark contrast.
This is because you hope. You hope that the future will have this person in it. You hope that the future will be filled with beautiful interactions with this person.
When you keep projecting, you are not living in the present. You are distracted. The more you project, the deeper your desire for this dream to come true.
You are giving that imagined future a lot more potency than it deserves.
However, it is fabricated. It is not real. It is a projection that can only lead to a further preponderance of hope.
The more power you give this future, the harder it is for you to let it go.
After all, it feels so good in this future. It feels so good knowing that you have this person beside you. You want to continue being a part of that.
Unfortunately, the more you imagine this future, the more your mind wants to tell you that it is real.
Perhaps you begin to lie to yourself about the validity of this reality. The truth is, this reality that you’ve created in this future is a lie. It is not real.
To help you stop dwelling and move on, stop the hope and the projection.
Let’s talk about nostalgia.
You have to let it go as well.
Nostalgia can sneak up on you when you least expect it.
You may be idle for a moment and a thought about this person comes to mind. You may be hanging out with family and friends and a thought about this person comes to mind. You may be driving to work or school and a thought about this person comes to mind.
This thought could occur at any time without any real prompting from you. It is a nostalgic thought.
You remember a fun conversation you had with this person. You remember a fun activity that you engaged in with this person.
The nostalgic memory of these past events is so poignant. You become lost in those nostalgic memories.
You start feeling a strong desire to go back to that moment in time.
This is a powerful emotion.
Nostalgia can prevent you from moving on and keep you dwelling.
You will need to stop the nostalgia.
The moment you sense that you are about to have a nostalgic moment, bring your thoughts back to the present. Remember where you are and what you are currently doing. Get yourself busy doing some activity if you have to.
Do whatever you have to in order to prevent that nostalgia from happening.
Once you have learned to discipline your mind when it comes to hope and nostalgia, you will stop dwelling and have a better chance at moving on.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.