You have come to a heartfelt decision. You told your boyfriend that you should both be friends.
Now, if your intent is to end the relationship, this is not the best way to do it.
You should be direct and firm about the fact that the relationship is over.
If you are merely telling him that the both of you should be friends, he may become confused. It would be very hard for him to let the relationship go when he hasn’t received a decisive conclusion from you.
When you use this method to break up with him, you may be setting yourself up for a lot of frustration.
If your boyfriend loves you and is really invested in the relationship, it will be very hard for him to simply accept a friend role.
What makes you think that it will be that easy for him to simply switch into a totally different kind of relationship with you?
Yes, I understand. You don’t want to just come right out and tell him that you want a break up. However, you have to.
You just do.
You may think that he should get the picture. You may think that he should understand what you mean by all this. However, understand that you are not in his head. You are not the one going through this emotional roller coaster.
Hence, he may translate what you have just told him in a totally different way. He may wonder if all you are doing is trying to get some space.
Perhaps you have been really stressed lately and you simply want a little time to get your head clear.
He may think that perhaps you are temporarily upset at him and you are just trying to get back at him in some way.
He may think that you simply want to gauge just how much he loves you by observing how he behaves from here on out.
There is just so much that could be going through his head.
Though you may think that the obvious answer is that you want a break up, he may not be looking at it in that way at all.
Remember, you are not the one in his head. He is the one who gets to interpret and react to what you told him.
As a result, he is the one who gets to place meaning on what you said. His meaning or interpretation may be something entirely different from your intention.
Now, also understand that being friends is not the solution to whatever problem the both of you may be having. If there were issues within the relationship that didn’t get resolved, being friends is not going to get them resolved.
The only way these issues get resolved is if they are dealt with head on. You only have a chance at fixing these issues when the both of you are willing to admit them and honestly work through them.
This would require the both of you to be patient and open to each other’s ideas.
However, if you have reached the point where you simply don’t want to work on the issues and want out of the relationship, let your boyfriend know in no uncertain terms that the relationship is over.
This is the only way to get your point across unequivocally and without confusion.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.