Is He Just Not That Into Me?

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Is He Just Not That Into Me?If he doesn’t ask you questions about yourself and tends to forget details about you, he may not be that into you.

There are several ways that guys tend to show a girl that they are into them.

They will often compliment the girl or make time to communicate with her on a regular basis.

They will do things to make her happy.

They might do her certain favors or try to help out her friends or family in some way just to show good faith.

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In other words, a guy who is truly into you will take decisive action to show that.

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When he is not taking real and decisive action, it is unlikely that he is into you.

Sure, he may call you and take you out from time to time. Sure, he may ask you about some of your interests.

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However, if he isn’t truly being consistent in his actions, his interest level is either non-existent or very weak.

A guy who is truly into you will look forward to seeing you.

He would want to know what you are up to or what your plans are for the weekend.

This is because he truly wants to be around you.

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He would sacrifice time that he would normally spend with his friends just to ensure that he can spend some of that time with you.

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When a guy is truly into you, he will take real interest in your interests. You will notice him trying to relate to your interests in some way.

If there is a particular type of music you like, he may tell you how much he likes it too or how much a certain kind of music he listens to is similar to what you listen to.

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When there seems to be constant breaks and gaps in your interaction with this guy, it is very likely that he is just not that into you.

There has to be some real consistency in a guy’s actions in order to ascertain whether he is truly into you or not.

If you were to have a good conversation over the phone with him one day but you don’t talk again for another week or more, this is inconsistent.

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If he were to show you to his friends and then you don’t get to be around them again, this is inconsistent.

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If he were to go on sporadic dates with you where each new date are weeks in-between, this is inconsistent.

When he consistently cancels dates with you, this is a red flag.

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You have to try to understand and accept what is going on. You may like this guy so much that you keep giving him second chances.

Unfortunately, no matter how many second chances you give him, he will only become more emboldened in continuing to do this.

A guy who is very inconsistent in his actions is a guy who is just not into you.

He would not be acting in the natural way a person would who was truly interested. He would be aloof.

This is not how people act when they are truly into each other.

What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

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Luke is a relationship consultant and founder of He is the author of several insightful and eye-opening eBooks about dating and relationships.
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4 thoughts on “Is He Just Not That Into Me?”

  1. This guy I care for has 2 jobs and volunteers on a regular basis, so there is really limited time for me. When we do hang out he treats me like a gentleman. I feel he is interested at the moment when we are together but I feel I’m never a priority. He always replies back to me when I text message and available to talk when I call, which is not often. Is it a good idea to cut all strings attched with this guy until he makes more of an effort? He know that I have feeling for him. I don’t want to keep going through this situation with a Guy I have dealt with for about 2 years. We both admit, we want the relationship to be natural. But I don’t want to continue to invest when I don’t see a change in his actions.

    y seldom that I do.

  2. Hi Lonnetta,

    If he isn’t making an effort to communicate with you on a regular basis, he has other priorities.

    Your instincts are correct.

    You should let him start making the first move. He may or he may not.

    If he doesn’t, you have your answer.

  3. This guy that I’ve known for awhile and we’ve talked multiple times before. One time he asked me about what I was doing in school and how my photography was doing, and then gave me a hug. We’ve teased each other before and laughed, etc. Was it just communication between two friends?

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