I’m Confused About Things With This Girl And Wonder If I Should Just Back Off For The Time Being?

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I'm Confused About Things With This Girl And Wonder If I Should Just Back Off For The Time Being?You have to figure out just what it is you feel confused about.

Is she not responding to your approach in a consistent and engaged manner?

Is she not communicating? Is she not coming to the dates that you arrange?

You have to answer these questions.

If there is a lack of communication between the both of you, this is a problem.

If you have noticed that you are the one who tends to initiate conversation every single time, there may be a lack of interest on her part.

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You don’t want to put yourself in the position where everything that is being done to move this process along is being done by you.



She also has to contribute to the process. This is how the dating process works. It takes two. Not one.

Hence, if there has been a consistent lack of communication on her part, you should actually let this girl go.

Don’t keep pushing and expending your energy where there is no interest. It would only take away from your opportunities to talk to other girls who may actually be interested.

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Why waste your time and energy on someone who gives you nothing back?



And no, it doesn’t mean that she is interested but she is just playing hard to get.

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Playing hard to get doesn’t mean that you never communicate.



Playing hard to get typically means that the person is simply giving you just enough to keep you interested while also showing interest in you.

At some point, the person completely opens up and the hard-to-get game ends.

This is not what you are dealing with when you are dealing with someone who never initiates contact with you.

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Now, you may also be confused because the girl may be responding but doesn’t seem to be making herself available often enough. However, when the both of you do go out on dates, you both have a great time.



It’s important to understand that there are some girls who are very good on dates.

They can be a great date. They will laugh and really show you a good time.

However, it doesn’t always mean that they are interested in you.

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This is especially the case if you consistently find it difficult to set up another date with them.



You find yourself constantly at the receiving end of cancelled dates or no shows.

Again, there is really nothing to be confused about in a scenario like this. If she is doing this, she is not truly interested in you.

A girl who is truly interested in you will regularly make herself available for dates and she will rarely cancel on you.

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You have to really try to figure out what has been going on.



Take a look back at your experiences with this girl and ask yourself if you have been going through any of what I just described.

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If you have, forget about backing off for the time being, just move on.

There is no point in expending your time and energy on someone who is either playing ridiculous games with you that will get you nowhere or is getting off making you guess about how they truly feel about you.


What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.


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3 thoughts on “I’m Confused About Things With This Girl And Wonder If I Should Just Back Off For The Time Being?”

  1. Hi Luke,

    I’m a junior in high school, and there’s this freshman girl on my indoor track team that I like (my ultimate goal is obviously having a relationship with her). I’ve talked to her a couple times, but I don’t really do it on a regular basis. It’s not really because I’m scared to talk to her, although I almost always get anxious when she’s around. It’s mostly because she’s not alone that often and I don’t get a lot of great opportunities to talk to her. She’s often talking to her friends. So this has always been the biggest issue.
    But although the conversations I’ve had with her have been pretty fun, I’m wondering how to really make progress when I do get to talk to her, and how to flirt and charm her. Any tips would be much appreciated. Thanks!

  2. Hi Aidan,

    It’s a good idea to loosen up.

    Girls like it when they are around a guy who is extemporaneous and seems to be really comfortable with himself.

    Hence, try not to sound too rehearsed. It makes it easier for you to flirt with her and for her to respond.

    A good way to make progress when you do get to talk to her is to ask her questions about herself.

    You could ask her about where she likes to hang out. When she gives you the answer, you can relate to it in some way or show some curiosity with some follow up questions about why she likes hanging out there.

    It’s all about creating a connection.

    You can flirt and charm her by giving her a compliment on something.

    Try to avoid complimenting her on something that is very obvious. Pick something on her or about her that most people wouldn’t notice.

    It could be a slightly hidden birthmark or the manner in which she talks or moves. Just find something that isn’t so obvious. It will make her feel special and set you apart from the rest.

    As far as you not having a lot of great opportunities to talk to her because she is often talking to her friends, read this article – http://datinglogic.net/2015/01/09/i-really-like-a-girl-but-she-is-always-surrounded-by-her-friends-how-can-i-go-about-getting-her-alone-and-asking-her-out/

  3. Thanks for the advice! The other article made sense, too. It sounds like I need to get my friends together and start chatting up her group. That will definitely be interesting!

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