How Often Do You See A Person You Just Started Dating?

It really depends on the kind of relationship you have.

There are some relationships that start off very strong in terms of dates.

Both partners who are newly in the relationship have such a feeling of camaraderie and interest that they may go on multiple dates a week.

Then there are other relationships that begin a little slower as far as dating is concerned.

However, in all honesty, it is best to keep the dating within reason when you just start dating someone.

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In other words, you shouldn’t overdo it.

One of the biggest early relationship killers is doing too much. You get to see each other too much and to some extent, due to that, the relationship dulls.

If you want to maintain some sense of excitement and enjoyment in the relationship, your dates earlier on should be fewer but certainly eventful.

Instead of focusing on quantity, focus on quality.

The problem is that when you keep seeing each other on too many dates so early on, you begin to get really accustomed to the person. To an extent you may feel like you already know this person only within a few weeks of dating them.

You couldn’t possibly know this person that well yet. It truly takes time to get to know someone authentically.

This is why I say that going on too many dates early on in the relationship can be a relationship killer.

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Quantity may only cause the both of you to get fatigued with each other. You both may begin to feel like you have gotten to experience everything there is and it’s only been a month of dating.

This is because you were both focusing on quantity.

Perhaps you both felt that in order for this relationship to happen, you had to date a lot in the beginning.

That is not true.

The more you focus on quality of dates in the beginning over quantity, the more excited you will be about seeing this person every time you meet.

It is a lot more exciting to look forward to going sailing with your date the following week than to ponder what more the both of you will talk about on another bland date a day after the last one.

You see, this is what you have to maintain in the early stages of the relationship.

You have to maintain that sense of excitement. When you think about them, you should be looking forward to seeing them again and excited about what you are both going to be doing.

You feel this sense of excitement because the both of you had so much fun going to a quality date the last time you saw each other.

You wouldn’t really get this sense of excitement if the last time you saw them was just yesterday and the both of you went on a bland date.

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At least, someone wouldn’t.

When there is way too much date overload in the beginning of the relationship, the sense of excitement dulls and the both of you may start looking at the dating as routine as opposed to something you should both get excited about.

Hence, in the beginning, try to keep the dates to one a week. Focus more on the quality of the dates than on the quantity.

I know that this can be hard for some who are really excited about each other.

However, do understand that if you were to go on too many dates too often in the start of this relationship, you may be pushing the relationship too hard in one direction.

That sense of excitement may deaden a lot quicker than you think. Then you both would be left staring at each other wondering what you should do on date 15 in week 3 of your relationship.

Keep the dates at a minimum in the beginning. Focus on quality over quantity and your relationship will have the best chance at staying fresh and lasting longer.

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4 thoughts on “How Often Do You See A Person You Just Started Dating?”

  1. Need some advice asap on my new relationship. I’m 54 yrs of age, and my new partner is in my age bracket. We have both been thru tough times in our past r/ships. We live 4 hrs drive apart, and am having a “slight prob” with the i miss her factor when i’m not with her, but it’s nothing dramatic, just a niggle. If someone who loves their space now at an older age in life, does it mean they don’t love their partner enough if they see each other say once a week for about 2 or 3 nights each time before around another week apart. Am i wrong for saying to myself, ” if she loves me like she says she does, and has happily accepted my promise ring and has introduced me to all her family, and many of her friends who all approve of me and get along great with me and have all given a big thumbs up for us, why would she not want to see be around me more often”. Does the frequency of our meetings have anything to do with how strongly she feels about me. My new woman is a wonderful person who has been verbally and physically abused in past r/ships, and only a yr ago, vowed to her family and friends that she’d never trust a man again. The first 2 weeks or so of our meetings she kept from family and friends for fear of them thinking she was mad for opening up to a man again after saying she’d never trust again, but a week or so later, she posted on her facebook wall about us and how happy she was with us, and asked her friends not to comment if negative about us. She got an overwhelming thumbs up from family and friends who said they were happy to see her happy again, and to be treated like a lady. I guess what i’m asking lol is, is it possible to be crazy about someone if you meet them around once a week. She works an average of 6 days a week cleaning a huge accommodation park at present as it’s the silly season, so loves her me time. That silly inner voice inside me sometimes says, “worn out or not, if you love someone enough, wouldn’t you want to see them more often cos we can still give each other space when around each other”. Am babbling a little here, but am desperate for advice. Pls help.

  2. Hi Will,

    She may not want to be around you more often because she is worried about letting herself get too close to you.

    She has a past of verbally and physically abusive relationships.

    This may be causing her to remain more cautious about seeing you more for fear of opening herself up to vulnerability once more.

    The frequency of your meetings does show that she is into you but at only once a week, she may be trying to play it safe.

    One dose of you a week for two or three nights may be all she feels like she can handle at the moment. It doesn’t necessarily mean that she doesn’t care about you, but it could mean that she really wants to take this slow and easy.

    She may not necessarily be crazy about you but meeting you only once a week doesn’t mean that she will never get to that point.

    The fact that she works 6 days a week does indicate that she has developed an independent streak and a routine. It will take some time for her to be willing to let that routine change for the sake of spending more time with you.

    Her work may honestly be a way she uses to cope with whatever emotional damage her previous relationships caused.

    Yes, if a person loves someone enough, they would want to see them more often.

    However, she may not be quite so in love with you at this stage. She may need more time to get there.

    In conclusion, you may need to give her more time in order for her to learn to trust you before she would be willing to let herself see you more often.

  3. I think once a week is a good start. I try not to have dates last more than 2-3 hours. However, what I have experienced (more than once) is that the guy begins to pull away and wants to slow things down after things have been going smoothly. I met a great guy and we saw each other once a week and talked regularly whether text, email, or phone for three weeks straight. We communicated every day. He would initiate phone and email and texting was initiated equally. After three dates, I barely heard from him and barely hear from him now. Our fourth date was serious. And I have not heard from him since. I texted him only once and I got no reply.

    I feel like he is no longer interested so I might just give up. I am going to call him out on his crap if this continues. Maybe he was is a jerk and likes to be a player or has no interest in a relationship.

    I do have expectations of dating and they are not outrageous either. Things seem to be on his terms now and which is something I don’t agree with. Two people should make time for each other.

  4. Hi Annoyed_Dater,

    Yes, once a week is a good start.

    You are also right about the possibility that the guy you have been dating may be a player or a guy who has no interest in a relationship.

    Since conversation was so good and consistent between you in the beginning, the interaction was seemingly going well.

    Perhaps he stopped calling or emailing you because he came to the realization that you wanted a serious relationship and he wasn’t willing to make that kind of commitment.

    Since this has happened to you more than once, you may want to start taking note of the kind of guys you have been choosing to date.

    It may help you have a better understanding of the kind of guys to avoid in the future.

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