I Have Mixed Feelings About My Friends With Benefits, What Should I Do?

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I Have Mixed Feelings About My Friends With Benefits, What Should I Do?You should come to terms with what you are truly feeling.

It is important that you really understand what it is.

Are you feeling attached, confused, in love, etc.

These are all feelings that you must understand and come to terms with.

This is the only way that we can begin to tackle this problem.

You have to be completely clear about what you are truly feeling.

Now, if you are feeling a stronger sense of attachment than you think you should in a friends with benefits type of a relationship, you may be on the path of ultimately falling in love with them.

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This is the point where you stop and think.



Take a minute and truly reflect on the fact that you are becoming attached.

What does this typically lead to?

You will begin to have questions about what the both of you are doing. You will begin to wonder if your friends with benefits partner has other people that they are doing the same thing with. You will begin to question your value as a person if someone that you are becoming attached to only sees you as someone to have sex with.

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Hence, the entire dynamics of the friends with benefits relationship will begin to start twisting into forms and patterns that you don’t understand.



It starts being less fun and more mental gymnastics. Your feelings will start beginning to take center stage in the relationship and you will more than likely start getting hurt over things that you never used to care about.

This is why you must stop and think.

At this point, you must let your friends with benefits partner know how you are feeling. You have to express yourself to them and be completely honest.

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Unfortunately, this is where a lot of people fail.



Instead of letting their friends with benefits partner know how they feel, they hide it. They keep going on as though nothing has changed.

Oftentimes, they do this because they are scared. They are scared of this feeling of attachment that they are beginning to develop.

They wonder if the friends with benefits partner feels the same way.

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They are scared of the prospect that the friends with benefits partner doesn’t and as a result they don’t want to put themselves in a vulnerable position by letting their friends with benefits partner know.



This is a mistake.

The moment you truly realize that you are becoming attached is the moment you must understand that the entire dynamic of your friends with benefits relationship has completely changed.

It can be so hard to come to this reality. However, you must. It is the truth. Your feelings are telling you what stage you have now reached in this relationship.

Hence, let your friends with benefits partner know. They may actually feel the same way.

Either way though, it is essential that you let them know how you are feeling.

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This will allow the both of you to figure out where you should take this.



If you are feeling confused about the relationship, you should ask yourself why. Perhaps, you feel like the relationship is no longer as fulfilling as it once was. Perhaps, you feel like your partner has changed in some way and it isn’t agreeing with you.

All of these emotions are very real and should be addressed.

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The sooner you realize just where you stand in this relationship, the easier it will be for you to come up with a solution.



If you are confused, your solution may be to end this relationship. If it is no longer fun and every time they are around, your temperament is very erratic, it may be time to end it.

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There is no shame in this.

By their nature, friends with benefits relationships are not designed to last for long periods of time. There is no shame in realizing that you are now confused and hence the relationship isn’t that much fun anymore. There is no shame in calling it quits at this point and ending the relationship.


What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.


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4 thoughts on “I Have Mixed Feelings About My Friends With Benefits, What Should I Do?”

  1. I feal attached with a guy I have been seeing for almost 2 years. When we are together it’s amazing for both of us. I just feel I’m not priority because he doesn’t put effort towards seeing me often. I’m afraid to let him know I want more from the situation because I don’t feel we are on the same path. How do approach this guy without feeling vulnerable. I really need to know, so I can protect my feeling for him. I believe a guy should approach a female if they wanted more and that’s the hard part for me.

  2. Hi Anonymous,

    You shouldn’t feel like you would be vulnerable if you were to let him know that you want more.

    You would be speaking your mind and being honest.

    It is better for you to let him know that you want more than to keep hoping that he will come around.

    You will actually put yourself in a stronger position when you tell him how you feel.

    Don’t be afraid to tell him.

    Regardless of what he tells you in response, you would be able to move forward.

  3. Why does the female seem to be the one expressing how they feel for a guy. Would you agree if a guy wanted more he would express to a female how he feels or am I to old school. I need help on the right approach…thanks!

  4. Hi Lonnetta,

    I would agree that if the guy wanted more he would express to the female how he feels. However, this is typically when the guy is absolutely sure of what he wants and how the girl feels about him.

    Many guys try to keep their options open when it comes to the girls they date just so that they never allow themselves to invest too heavily in a girl that doesn’t turn out to like them as much as they wanted her to.

    Hence, these kind of guys would need the female to show him that she is truly emotionally invested in them before they allow themselves to become too expressive of their feelings.

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