Why Is My Ex Texting Me Again, Out Of The Blue?

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Why Is My Ex Texting Me Again, Out Of The Blue?Your ex may be texting you again out of the blue because they may have just gotten out of a relationship that left them quite unhappy or they may be in a lonely period in their life.

Often, when ex’s hear from each other after a sustained period of time, it is due to a sense of unhappiness, loss and even a sudden drop to their sense of self-esteem.

When someone has been in a relationship that ended suddenly, they may begin to ponder about their past relationships. They begin to ponder because they wonder if the relationship that they just got out of was a failure because of them.

They doubt themselves.

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They want to feel a better sense of who they are and their self-worth. So, they think of you. An ex.



They start recollecting the type of relationship that they had with you. They compare that relationship to the one that they have just gotten out of.

It seems so much better. They start to remember how happy they were when they were with you. They start getting that sense of importance and relevancy when they think about you.

To you, they were somebody. To you, they meant something.

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As they begin to recollect and tell themselves what they themselves want to hear in order to make themselves feel better, they realize that getting back in touch with you may make them feel better.



So what do they end up doing?

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They contact you out of the blue.

It’s important to understand that the state of mind in which your ex is in at the moment may not be the best.



As I described earlier, they may have either just recently gotten out of a bad relationship, a relationship that ended badly or they may simply be lonely.

In that state of mind, they simply want to feel better about themselves and the current state that they are in.

Think about it for a moment?

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Why would anyone just contact you out of the blue when they haven’t maintained any kind of communication with you in-between that time? They haven’t contacted you to ask about your well-being all this time. As far as you were concerned, you no longer existed in their eyes.



Now, all of a sudden, out of the blue, that person contacts you.

They haven’t shown any real concern for you during their time of absence. They weren’t there when you got fired from work, got told off by a loved one, got kicked out of your apartment, got your purse or wallet stolen etc.

Now, this person shows up?

Doesn’t that sound odd and peculiar?

Of course it does.

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Oftentimes, it is due to that person reacting to something that just happened in their lives. In a way, contacting you is a reactionary act. They haven’t entirely thought it through. They are simply reacting in order to put themselves in a better mental and possibly even physical state.



Yes, the physical too.

They may be sexually frustrated at the moment and feel that since they have been with you in the past, they may have an avenue to get sex.

In general, what you may really be dealing with here is someone that is being selfish. They may either want to fulfill an emotional or physical need.

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Since you are familiar to them and the both of you have history, they decide to contact you in order to get what they hope will make them feel better.



You shouldn’t be anyone’s emotional or physical relief, unless you choose to be so.

Be careful. Don’t allow yourself to fall for the ex simply because you may still have feelings for them.

The fact that the ex contacted you out of the blue may have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and what they want.

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What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.


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4 thoughts on “Why Is My Ex Texting Me Again, Out Of The Blue?”

  1. Sounds logical and it just happened to me. Ex just contacted me out of the blue after all that time. A year and some months to be exact. No communication of any kind and then “bam”. Got an email from her. Hope you’re well…just wanted to say hello. I didn’t resond back right away and I waited a couple of days before I even responded back. A simple one line response. “Nice to hear from you. I’m doing fine. Take Care” I had all but forgotten about her and then she pops up. It seems like they have a sixth sense when they know you’ve moved on from them and then they contact you out of the blue. My conclusion. When an ex contacts you out of the blue, something’s up. Then again they may very well have a genuine reason for contacting you and actually wwnt to know how you are. Then again I may wrong. That’s a chance I’m not willing to take again. The past belongs in the past. those who fail to learn from history are bound to repeat it.

  2. Hi Tim,

    Indeed, exes tend to contact out of the blue quite often.

    They reach out often because they get lonely or want something safe and familiar back into their lives.

    However, it can often lead to confusion when the person on the other end, someone like you for example, has already moved on.

    And yes, it does seem like they have a sixth sense at times and can tell that their ex has moved on.

    As you stated, those who fail to learn from history are bound to repeat it.

  3. My ex just texted me out of the blue after three months of radio silence because he couldn’t stand talking to me anymore to ask me if I really told his twin brother I didn’t want to talk to him because he reminds me of my ex. I told him I told my friend who happens to be dating his twin that and that was after school got out and I didn’t want to deal with anyone connected to him anymore. And besides, the twin and I never got along and weren’t friends to start with.
    Anyway I’m trying really hard not to text him back because the people around me have all said he is just being a dbag but it’s hard because I still have feelings for him. I don’t want to have feelings for him but he was/is my first love, first sexual partner, first everything. And I can’t seem to think of a reason of why he would contact me and why he is so angry about what I said. After I told him I told his twins girlfriend he said that I was a real piece of work and I was basically a bitch for not telling his twin to his face. I’m just really confused. Any insights?

  4. An ex from 30 years ago writes to me now and again. We were both married, but had only been married for a few years when we met. Friendship that seemed safe gradually turned to more until one day I just realised it was love. But I loved my husband more or maybe I just didn’t want to disappoint or hurt my family. In the end it seemed fairer to take the pain of leaving myself.

    The ex moved away and occasionally writes. I could have had a happy life with him, but I made my choice and I made the right choice. My husband is so easy to get along with and he’s always there for me.

    We now have two grow up daughters. Yet when this ex writes to me out of the blue every year or so to tell me how he thinks about me still, or I play the classical music we listening to together at concerts, it churns me up for the day.

    The advice given by Luke is correct, it’s about them not you. Something is happening in their lives to make them sad or to remember good times with you. In his case, he’s moving to Ireland so it makes the distance between us greater.

    I always send a friendly response and never let on how much it’s churned me up to hear from him and know he still loves me – we’ve chosen our paths and there’s no going back. I will never meet him again because it would be too hard.

    A

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