There are guys who are mama’s boys because of how they were raised to depend on mother.
There are also guys who are mama’s boys because of the support their mother may have given them during very difficult periods in their lives.
Those moments can have a powerful effect.
Before you begin to get frustrated over this, it’s important to ascertain what category your boyfriend falls into. The initial task is to figure out if this is how he was raised or if this occurred as a result of some traumatic events that may have occurred in your boyfriend’s past.
You should start taking a genuine interest in your boyfriend’s past.
Try to learn more about him and ask him questions about himself. Do so in a manner of making conversation and simply trying to get to know him. It shouldn’t come off as though you are interrogating him.
Hence, it is best to start slow. Find out bits of information a little at a time and let it build with time. The more you know, the more you will be equipped to handle the problem.
If you figure that he is a mama’s boy due to the way in which he was raised versus traumatic events that may have occurred in his life that led him to have a dependent bond with his mother, your task may be a little bit more difficult.
This is due to the fact that since all of this began when he was much younger, those habits have become second nature to him. Hence, trying to get him to stop being a mama’s boy may require a somewhat herculean effort to disengage him from his embedded mode of thinking.
To do this, the best step is to start helping him build his sense of independence. Start encouraging him to try his hand at doing something new. If he has always stuck with the same old habits and activities, try to get him to do something else.
You will be there with him at the start to lend your support. You have to try to get him to become passionate about something to the point that he begins to identify himself as someone unique.
It could be a sport. It could be something that you know he may have the talent for but isn’t really making the effort to develop, like painting, for example.
Sometimes, it takes just a little pep talk to finally get someone to start doing something new. Other times, you may have to tell them a few more times in order to push them in that direction.
Once you start getting him into the habit of having his own hobbies and partaking in them fully, he may not think about his mother’s opinion that much.
In fact, you may find that if he were to really become passionate about something and his mother were to disapprove, he just may defy her by saying that this was “your” suggestion and he is sticking with it.
This is where he begins to develop a sense of independence and as time goes along, you may start weaning him off his mother’s influence.
Now, if he is a mama’s boy because he became bonded to his mother due to a traumatic event in the past, you will have an easier time of ending this. The best way to go about it is to start talking to him about those traumatic events.
You should do it in a subtle way that doesn’t try to get too much information too quickly. Simply listen to what he has to say and empathize. It is important to empathize and not sympathize.
The idea is not to make him feel sorry for himself but to allow him to see that you understand where he is coming from. You should then relate to him in some way by describing some traumatic events that may have occurred in your life or in the life of someone you know.
As you begin to relate to him in this way, he will begin to feel a stronger layer of commonality and trust with you. This is when his level of dependence on his mother will begin to wilt because he will begin to feel like he has a kinship with you.
Eventually, he may stop being a mama’s boy and instead be your boyfriend through and through.
By this point, you would have succeeded in making him realize that you can really relate with him on certain issues and this can be a very powerful motivator in getting him to stop being so dependent on his mother.
He may even get to the point where he doesn’t even want to listen to his mother’s opinion about certain issues or grievances anymore.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.